Next to You: Tales of Bia and Frost
by Lunar Froxy
Summary: The resilient chain of a relationship can be broken with continuous strain from the unforgiving reality, but love? Most importantly, the kind of love from someone that standing Next to You.
1. I Promise

**A/N: Olá meus amigos! As I promised, the first chapter of this rewrite is coming out soon, and so here it is.**

 **For those you are new to read. This story basically a mix-up of Love's Eternal Light combined with Next to You theme, the result is this story and I hope you savor it as I did. Since I will try to make the story as best as I can.**

 **I would like to personally mentioned Bluetech and Hspar for making this wonderful installment (Go check 'em out) and inspiring me to write (as well as the consent to use the title) a mature romance... which I'm still doubt that I capable of doing so.**

 **Anyway, I will stop before the author's note become the story itself, without further ado... Next to You: Tales of Bia and Frost!**

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 **Chapter 1**  
 **I Promise**

~Beatriz~

I really never expecting myself to be immersed in the sea of the intoxicating feeling called love, nor I believe such matter will become something really important within my life… for such emotion is incredibly unfamiliar for me, until the day when a little epiphany on how romance work struck me like a sprawling thunder, the beginning of my romantic life.

I have to admit that I never really understand the concept of what is "love" back then; the only source of explanation over this emotion was simply how my Mom and Dad really devoted towards each other. It was something delightful, I must say, considering how Mom had always been smiling whenever Dad near her, sharing the kind of affectionate acts – mushy stuff, as Tiago never failed to express it – that sometimes made me ponder of the real taste of love.

Of course, life has always had a little trinket for us, who wanted to seek, that it will surprise you where you least expected... and for the real thing that became the premiere of my romance life. For I never been so devoted aside from this very bird that standing next to me, the one that I love with all my heart and soul.

It was roughly ten years ago when I met him for the first time (under odd circumstances, I must admit) where he brought me back after I got knocked unconscious by the pursuing jaguar. I never foreseen that he would play a major part on my love life; that he will be the only person that I love with such passion I never know exist within me…

Our first meeting was… awkward, I admit. He was a very shy and closed bird, barely talked to his peers and seemed so gloom most of the time, as the world itself declared a war towards him…

Even with such flaws he had, I was intriguing by the enigmatic visages he carried behind his so-obvious-masked face. Somehow, my soul imposed me an explanation over his mysterious demeanor, like a jigsaw puzzle Dad used to let us play, pieces of his personality that allowed me to gain the whole picture on who he really is.

It was also when the unfamiliar feelings befallen upon me. Basically, the more I spent my time with him (with his curiosity over some of the human things) the more that ticklish sensation within me intensified… his smile, his eagerness to learn and his vibrant blue eyes mesmerized me… it was something bizarre, as never in my life I got such emotion being conjured.

I couldn't help but to repress such emotion, shielding it within an impregnable wall and trying to convince myself that he was only a friend; he was only someone that will become my best friend as the time flies by… for a reason that I believe that our relationship is platonic, and there's no way our friendship would escalate into something else…

But oh boy, I was wrong.

I regretted myself for not so aware about how I already developed a seedling of love within my heart. The emotion that I repressed was merely a tiny bang over the grander version of this adamant feeling, that it would hit me with the tidal wave of what love really is… and when I saw for real that he was ready to leap into the abyss just to be with me…

Sacrifice was more than adequate to make my impregnable wall crumbled to dust, and the pressure from the searing passion of this "love" finally take over me when I accepted him to be with me… because after all that he done to me, I can convince myself that he wanted to make me feel secure…

But it was ten years ago, how could I know?

I will be a hypocrite if I told you that I trust love all the way over the period of our relationship. As how volatile love is sometimes, with the addition from my lack of experience over romance stuff… you wouldn't expect me to trust it one-hundred percent, would you?

Nonetheless, the jittery sensation was strong, and I let myself to savor all the moments I had with him, without any confirmation on just how long this "puppy" love would survive the harsh reality. But for the extent of that time, I knew that he loved me with all his heart.

And so did I.

Three years later passed away like a wind, and we entered our teenage years. I didn't know that the kind of love would manage to survive in the last three years… but I knew that our love had been stronger than before; pulsing with a much stronger passion as we get to know each other more.

It brought me a smile when I recalled the day he proposed me back then in Rio, such sweet memories will never going to wither from my head. It was also another form over how our love already formed a pillar over the next stage of our relationship. I was more than happy to accept his pure love; taking the promise, that one day, we will become mates.

Sure is, for the duration of our relationship that time, arguments had started to become more frequent. It was something inevitable for us to have some incompability, but thankfully, never we got into an argument where we swore an eternal hatred towards each other. As for such cases only strengthen our tethered heart...

And I accepted it for one sole reason… I love him.

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If you ever asked me about the feeling of being loved, I will likely to say that the majority of it is warm, both physically and emotionally. As succulent as it is, love is incredibly warm like a hearth during winter time.

Emotionally, the sense of being treasured by someone within his/her heart is simply inexplicable by words or fancy explanation. It is purely the sense of warm you'll get when someone you love really regards you as something incredibly precious; the titillation it invokes that can make you implode for just beloved by your love.

I would expect no less from Frost either. His love for me was somewhat exceeding what I was expecting to have. His love is pure, something that will make you crave for it every minutes in your life like the second oxygen. Never had I imagined someone like him could give me the sense of being so loved, as I was the rarest diamond on earth.

While physically, love is warm in a different way. A mere hug can give you a sense of security that someone you love is here for you; a kiss can tell you that he/she wanted you in his/her life; and with the last stage being the ultimate seal of love when she/he devoted him/herself just for you, when someone you love choose you to be his/her family.

Sadly for me, I still couldn't bring myself to enter the quintessential stage of our relationship… as cloud doubts still shrouded my heart the moment I realized that was one-way journey; that once you give yourself in, it was something irreversible.

It didn't falter the physical warmth he emitted when he hugged me, for the sense of security within his clutches had involuntary whispered that he will stay with me forever, plus in a more logical side, if he really wanted to get some "advantages" from me, I would expect him to give up a long time ago.

As demonstrated whenever I found myself waking up within his wing, something that so familiar to me, but never gets old either. My hazy vision was glimpsed over the periwinkle-colored blob that existed in front of my eyes when my internal clock alarm anchored me back from the realm of slumber.

The vividness soon befallen upon my eyes as consciousness finished assimilating itself back into my body, revealing the sleeping form of someone that encased me tightly within his wings, radiating the sense of warm that managed to overpower the chilling morning breeze.

My beak couldn't resist to form a beam when I saw the sleeping form of my mate… maybe not really _mates_ … rather in still in the terms of lovebirds but in a more deeper way… since I hadn't yet give myself to him completely and became his mate for life.

I had reasons though, for why I wasn't yet ready to enter the final frontier of our relationship. With the tendencies of my logic to eclipse my emotion inside its umbra, I wasn't surprised with the decision that I made for this grand step over my life.

It was a ninety-nine to one ratio over my preparation to tell him that I was ready to be his real _mate_. But rather, that mere one percent already built an exaggerated barrier that withhold the full extent of our love, and I couldn't help myself to pay attention over the one percent, only to just make sure everything is perfect – for such matter as this big step in my life – before I could put the "naïve" label away; bear with me that title of "mates" is much heavier than "lovebirds"

Nevertheless, his warm love exists in such form on both physically and emotionally, intact even as I never felt this warmth waver… only got stronger as sun rise and set in the horizon, that I knew that he would love me with all his heart.

My eyes admiring his sleeping form with a wide grin etched on my face, inhaling his intangible aura that drifted me into the state of tranquility. His plumages contacted with mine blasted me a sense of euphoria of pure ecstasy; a sheer ripple of heavenly waves swept over me.

I dug my beak into his chest succulently; titillating my olfactory sense with his natural scent as I awaited his blue eyes sprang to life from his eyelids. His occasional mumbling evoked a little joviality and my beak couldn't resist to stifle a giggle.

His blue-and-white orbs soon greeted me with a tender gaze when he returned back into the real world. A smile he donned on his beak when he saw me and planted a kiss on my forehead. " _Ah, bom dia, meu amor._ " He tightened his clutches, pressing me into his warm body while he nuzzled my head. "Did you sleep well last night?" **[Good Morning, my love]**

 _Of course, as long as you are with me… I believe nothing will disturb my slumber._

"Yes, I did," I rubbed my beak onto his chest. He kissed me one more time on my forehead before roused from his slumber, stretching all the numb limbs and yawning occasionally. "What a great morning isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. But aren't you forgetting something?" I said impatiently, looking at his confused face. It took around five more seconds before he could decipher my rhetorical statement and promptly his beak formed a devilish smile. I wasn't expecting that he would lunge towards me before gave me a sugary kiss, the one that saturated with such eloquent passion that involuntary conjured the rather unwanted hormonal lusts from our make out session… and I almost lost my common sense if our lungs didn't crave for dear breaths.

My nostrils were intoxicated with his steamy breaths as he remained on top of me, smiling akin to a crescent moon while his chest moved up and down from expiration. "Want another one?" He asked rather seductively. "Hmmm?"

I was fully aware that he wouldn't push me further than that, considering that we had talked about my unreadiness to have chicks, which I was greatly thankful that my _mate_ possessed a large precondition of _ifs_ and _else_ hardwired into his algorithm and allowed him to understand my condition while still loving me stronger than ever. Even I had to admit that it wasn't about chicks the entire problem was about; it was about us, the sense of security whether I could trust him or not.

I rolled my body sideways, such abrupt motion resulted him to land with his face into the floor. I couldn't help but laugh when I heard him groaned before I took my revenge and lunged towards his unsuspecting condition. His eyes glinted with playfulness the moment I rested my body on top of him, fixing my eyes to his blue-colored eyes and smiled. "It's my revenge." He winced playfully and faking a desperate respond. "No, please…"

It was under gravity's aid that my beak could touching him and induced ourselves in the world of our love. Frost's wings then pushed my head down to his beak and we kissed with the searing passion that would make anyone jealous. His wings then drifted to my spine, caressing my back softly as we lost ourselves in the rhythm of our tongue waltzed with each other.

I didn't expect the mere beak-lock could become a catalyst for such tidal wave of sexual cravings; almost I lost within the sea of lust if my self-control didn't bang my head hard enough and rather abruptly terminating our make out session, caging such unwanted outcome from crashing down to us.

I probably never know what my lovebird was feeling when I clipped our kiss in a sudden motion, but his eyes flinted me the former playful looks while he panted for dear breath. I could feel his wings still caressing my back and he sighed blissfully. "Oh, Bia. What fate allowed me to have someone as beautiful as you in my life." He fixed his gaze with mine. "I love you, really I love you."

A shade of peach was probably the most noticeable feature added on my face. I rested my head on his chest while remaining on top of him. "I would likely to ask a same thing, Frost. I never know how I can get someone like you as my _mate_." A gleaming light lighten my heart intensely.

I really wish that my belly wouldn't disrupt our romantic moments with its loud rumbling, but my energy reserves were incredibly low when I roused from our nest. Frost then noticed my condition, chuckled. "You really are that hungry, perhaps we need to take some food." Of course, such obvious statement wouldn't manage to escape my sarcastic reply. "No, we need to race a full turn on the village first."

He then slapped his wings onto his face and groaned. "Okay, fine! I will stop saying something obvious." He rubbed his wings multiple times on his face before walking to the entry of our hollow. "You want to go too or not?" He asked.

I bobbed my head twice and unfurled my wings. I could see he gulped and stated almost inaudibly. "So beautiful…" before he followed my suit and launched himself into the sky.

The morning was simply bliss; I could see some macaws and wildlife in the Amazon initiating their usual activities. My flight, however, quite impaired thanks to the low reserves of energy, but I know if I ever fall, Frost will be there to catch me – like he will always do. Fortune was on my side when the Brazil nut grove materialized before my eyes and hurriedly we landed on our "favorite spot".

There was a series of memories relayed into my consciousness the moment I my talons touched the woody texture and inhaled the sweet aroma from the hanging goodness that existed before my eyes. I wouldn't forget the first time I tasted the best Brazil nuts in the Amazon, and also, the time when we forged our relationship.

My body was incredibly weak, the hunger had escalated into a starvation and thus I barely could keep my balance on the branch. I was also aware that he kept an eye on me; something that assured me no matter what happened, he will always standing next to me, be my sentinel over the splinter and debris when this world falling apart.

My endeavor to crack open the shell of the Brazil nut was rewarded with futile results. Initiatively, he cracked open his nut and offered me, smiling. "I got that. Here you can eat this one." He snatched my nut and cracked it open while I savored the one he gave me.

 _You really care for me, don't you?_

I was incredibly hungry when I devour the whole nut rather hastily. I could hear small chuckle when I still chewing the nut in my beak. "Whaf?" He shook his head. "Slow down a bit, you can get a stomachache."

I gulped the delicious nut and replied. "Well, I'm just so hungry… and this nut is so good." He passed me another portion of his as he saw mine already barren. "That's not a good argument, you know the last time you ate your breakfast too fast and the outcome, right?'

My logical side soon tickled with his arguments. "Actually, this one is different with the one back then in Rio. You know that Brazil nut's acid is very mild compared to passion fruit, and with that, it won't get me into that terrible ordeal like back then in Rio." I said proudly, looking at his amused expression.

He donned himself a smile and look at me amorously. "Look at you, my _mate_ is not just beautiful, but also smart." He hugged me from my back and cushioned his head on top of me. "What I could ask for more?"

My face was crimson red, even after all this years, never had he failed to make me extremely embarrassed – in a way a mate can do – and I closed my eyes in tranquility, savoring the warmth from his love whenever I got myself inside his embrace. I rotated my body to face him, unaware that tears already tinted my eyes and I saw him frown. "Uh, Bia. Is there anything wrong?"

I crumpled down to his chest, smiling happily as my heart glowed brightly. "Nothing, Frost. Just… I'm so happy; really I said this from the bottom of my heart that I'm so happy that you are with me; that you love me."

The frown then turned upside down, and gently he pecked me on my forehead – the symbol of his tender love for me – and stated. "I love you for no reason, and if you are happy… so will be me, because I will always standing next to you." He caressed my crest feathers lovingly. "You promise?"

" _I promise._ "

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 **A/N: Good people favs, follow and review. So you are a good people, right?**

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	2. Paradox Game

**A/N: I want to say a little bit sorry for the late update, but I promise the next one will be much faster... which of course is a lie since I never been true to my promises XD, anyway, here enjoy the second chapter.**

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 **Chapter 2**  
 **Paradox Game**

~Beatriz~

"There, beautiful as always." Frost stated when he finished his endeavor to preen my feathers – the former I enjoyed and the later I appreciated – and let out a satisfying sigh. His eyes scrutinized me from crest to tail before he nodded. "So beautiful…"

My default reaction was to blush, with the way he adored me always made me feel like I was an exquisite thing. I leaned and compensated a little peck on his cheek, showing my gratitude over his compliment and saw his face turned crimson red.

He later unfurled his left wing and warped it around my body, nuzzling my head as he cradled me within the gap of his wing. I could feel his beak occasionally touched my head along with his steady breaths condensated into my crest feathers before his beak muttered the three words that never failed to make my heart jump out of my chest. "I love you."

I lifted my head around forty-five degrees angle and met his face. His eyes were glistened with the familiar stare that never dither every time I got mesmerized with his blue eyes; it was the stare of devotion solely directed to me. Silence engulfed us when our eyes locked with each other, ignoring the ambience around us as we drifted into the realm of our love alone. I didn't know how my beak already touched his, but for the kiss so luscious, it didn't matter.

I really wish such moment will never find a conclusion, savoring his love for me in a form of actions instead of mere words were the utmost freedom, not to be bound with anything else. Our gustatory organs twirled each other in a Samba dance of their own, if it wasn't for the other macaws there that looked at us, we were probably going to kiss in an extended time.

I rested my head on his nape, looking at the gleaming sphere that slowly made its way into its rightful throne on the sky. His wing contained me close into his body as we immersed ourselves within the tranquil morning before Frost finally break the silence. "Do you remember our time back then in Rio?" I nodded my head. "Of course, why did you ask?"

"Oh well, maybe I'm just missing some part of it, you know, human and stuff… the city have an attraction of its own," He sighed and shook his head. "Can't believe it was seven years ago."

I have to admit that deep inside my soul, I had sense of yearning to return to that marvelous city. But with the condition that happened in the Amazon, leaving it behind wasn't an option. The tragedy with the harpy eagles still fresh in my mind… how I could forget the shrieks and screeches from Frost when he realized that his Mom was dying? It was a javelin being pierced into his heart.

He stared north, a place where the tribe "buried" his Mom when she finally let out her last breath. I knew that inside he was crying, the loss of his only family member left him stranded within the pit of grief. I never really knew what he was feeling that time… since the accident was around four years ago, but I know it left a gargantuan scar on his heart forever.

"Well, one day we will visit Rio again, with _our_ family." I donned myself a grin, hoping that would pull him out from the somberness that possessed his soul. He smiled lovingly and replied. "Thank you," before he averted his gaze back at the rising sun.

"So, what did you do with my crest feathers this time?" I asked, trying to shatter the depressing atmosphere. He simply blushed. "Come with me," was all he said when he unfurled his wings and heading to the nearby stream. I followed his suit soon after, suspecting what kind of _artwork_ he did to my crest feathers this time.

It was one of the things that not even him knew such artistic soul existed within him, the one that finally got me in the endeavor to understand the meaning of art itself. I have to admit that my definition of art was highly influenced with the standard dictionary, which later redirected me to understand one other thing that become the composition over an art, and that was something they called paradoxes.

For once I enjoyed reading a riddle about paradoxes, simply in definition is something contradictory that coexist in a single form (rather ironic if you ask me) and so such simple thing would never confuse me in a tier where I could barely understand the meaning of a certain paradoxes that able to violate the logic gate rules and basically created a void of explanatory over something that simply is a… well, paradox... and it gave me headaches when I tried to compose the puzzle into a big and full picture.

I once asked Frost what is the meaning of paradoxes, which he replied me. "Well, as easy as it sounds, paradox is simply something that contradictory," He then assembled me a riddle and asked me the meaning of it. Of course, it didn't manage to give me a vivid explanation until one day something else gave me the answer, in the form of something that I'm so familiar with, love.

I recall one superhero movie back then in Rio, the one that had no charm to me at first, until I saw the movie as a wholesome; the reason was the lack of activity I could do – the rain outside rendered my book inaccessible – and therefore what I could do was simply tagging along, the only salvation over the boredom that lingered within my soul.

Carla and I were on the same boat for conjecturing that such movie would be a boring one (and she later escaped with her iPod, lucky Carla). My assumption was proven to be correct at first, because the plot was just… I mean, humans really have a very active imagination over something they could create into a story… even that including bending the rules of physics and logic… but for some reason, that kind of ideas managed to get the majority of humans excited. I guess, that explains the shocking digits of fan-fictions ever created.

I would probably fall asleep if the plot didn't introduce the main frame of its construction; the one that I never imagined existed inside the stereotyped superheroes movies (Boom, crash, bang, kapow! As Tiago never failed to express it) when they finally introduced romance as the main source of the plot.

Impatient was soon upon me when the movie started to introduce the origin of the superheroes (or angels or gods for that matter) on how they were created as pairs, that no matter how far one of them might go, the other will always find a her/him.

It was something that made me ponder soon enough over the meeting of me and the bird that I really love since I met him. Either our meeting was a very fortunate coincidence or maybe the movie was right, that we are made as pairs, and it is just a matter of time before we find our missing heart and mold it together once more.

Those diminutive explosions escalated rather quickly when their past together were revealed, for the movie told me how they spend three-thousands years together, taking care and saving each other for how their eternal – literally – love survive for such long time. My smile, however, soon vanished when they spoke one bitter truth about love… sacrifice.

I was rather surprised over the realization that hit me that love is indeed one of those paradox games. When you love someone, you want to stay with him/her, to take care of him/her and spend you limited time together. However, there is one condition when you will leave someone you love because you love him/her… a sacrifice in the name of love that you won't be with your love for the rest of your life… because you love him/her.

I remember turning my head to Frost and asking what was wrong with that movie; asking that shouldn't that movie end up for both of them being together. He looked at me with a nonchalant expression – a sign that he probably didn't fathom either – until he wrapped his wing around me and hugged me tightly. I didn't know what was the hug meant for, either he did that to comfort me from the setback of the movie, or perhaps, he was just trying to tell me that. "I will stay with you forever, I won't leave you," or some kind reassurance that our relationship won't end up like in that movie.

Nonetheless, the movie already rooted me another though about this instability of love, it was a paradox, volatile and metaphorical by default… and merely a relationship was based on a game about contradictory statements? I mean I know it was a movie, something that came from an imagination, but the concept of love that was put in there was seriously accurate.

I had this reason for the next stage of my relationship with him, even I already knew that he would be ready to trade himself with me in hell if I ever get there (rather hyperbolic, but that's the limitation using words to describe such abstract feelings). I also know that he would never did such atrocities like cheating on me or maybe left me alone with our eggs in the nest… yet that once small intervention already made a kernel process in my head, putting an unnecessary barricade that withhold the last stage of our relationship, our union.

And to be honest, I loathe reality sometimes to prove that our concerns can be correct – even it was merely a mirage created by the reality to be logical enough for the prefrontal cortex to accept – and made all the ninety-nine percentage of my readiness inched closer into the Grand Canyon of concern. I would never blame him fully for that _new_ behavior he developed, it was from his default personality of being overcautious with everything that happened around him until his neurotic mind seek a way to relieve the overloaded impulses, in a form of plucking his feathers.

It brought me a laugh for the few times, seeing him with some of those featherless skin exposed. Until soon enough the joviality evolved into concern, and that concern evolved into doubt. Those smiles opt to desist every time I saw more and more bald patches on his body, not only it makes him ugly… well… let's just say that it also makes me think if he was questioning my role as his lovebird, that somehow he didn't trust me enough to share his troubling mind.

I would expect less from such closed personality, fairly I tried to make an exception to understand that he probably did that because he didn't want me to get messy with his problem. That gave me one thing to remember: every time his beak inched closer to his feathers, I need to talk and calm him down.

I might endanger my relationship with him by trying to decipher this paradox with something that located inside my cranium rather something in my rib – yes, I know both of them are actually inside the cranium, spare the scientific fact – but I rather took a tentative step over something as big as this, walking into the altar of marriage – well, in human terms – and to remember that the consequences would be irreversible; once I'm Frost's mate, I'm his mate for life.

Kind of ironic when our love that supposed to be the one that untied us together also became the thing that made me hesitate to comply the utmost way a lover can do, but no matter I did to negate the negative thought… it keeps bouncing back to me. I wouldn't dare to put my life with a pillar of paradoxes, but the love I received was merely a slow ripple over the rising tsunami that would consumed me… like it or not, I need to make my decision soon before I wrecked our relationship beyond repair.

The reflective surface soon brought the image of my condition come to life, exposing the kind of 'alteration' Frost had done with my crest feathers. The once straight and boring crest feathers were now curly in several places, almost I mistaken myself as Mom in her early age if it wasn't for my eyes' color. I donned myself with a smile and rotated my neck thirty degrees. "You did a good job, I love it." I could see his face turned crimson from my compliment. "You are beautiful any way you are, Beatriz. _Você é um anjo, meu amor._ " **[You are an angel, my love]**

I chuckled. "Seems the Portuguese lessons is all paid off, huh?" My chuckled proved to me infectious when he heard the same snicker escaped his beak. "Well, I have a good teacher." He put on a proud smile on his face and he walked closer to me to hug me from behind. "Also a very good _mate_."

I had mixed feelings from the conversation. One part of my soul was happy that from the whole population of Spix macaws that existed in the Amazon; he chose me to be his mate. While the other one that I was seriously agitated from the emphasis in the "mate" word whenever we (mostly him) address each other – well, not in a level where I want to rip his tail feathers off, more like annoyed. But I couldn't blame him for doing so, it was a meristematic problem that rooting back solely to me if one wanted to trace it. The reasons were it gave me a sense of pranks or joke over this relationship – or I should quote, serious relationship – also some kind of mock over my confusion with my decision.

It took me around five seconds to converge the change of tide within his demeanor, the familiar worried expression that out of nowhere present suddenly etched on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows to my confusion, but before I could speak, Frost already asked. "Are you okay, Bia?" Honestly, I had no idea on what was going on with me until he explained, "You seem to have something in your mind."

My face was the reason he detected a distress, the thought earlier somehow managed to not only run inside my brain, but also exist within my facial expression. Thousands of reasons soon conjured inside my head to explain the not-so-subtle change on my face. I waved my primaries and laughed dryly. "Nah, it was nothing." He didn't seem to convinced and keep shooting me the monotonous looks that made me groan… There's no way I could escape from this situation without being honest. "Okay… I'm just thinking we need to stop the joke." I said in a monosyllabic tone.

I cursed myself internally for being so readable, even I know that he possessed a patience of a sloth, I might just put our relationship in jeopardy, or at the mildest, giving him a hint that I was being unreasonable from my decision; that I wanted to stop putting the emphasis on the title, yet at the same time, I didn't dare to make it became a reality.

I sighed when he didn't give me an answer soon. "I don't like it when we play around with the title, Frost. It is something serious; we can't just make it into a pranks or something like that, it's not right." He then nodded. "I know, Bia. I'm sorry."

 _Sorry? I was the whole reason you put that joke…_

"Frost… I didn't mea-" He silenced me, "I'm understand, Beatriz. I really do." He fixed his eyes with me. "I just wanted to tell you that you are my mate, maybe I did it wrong by using it as a joke." He sighed. "I know we are not officially mate, but hear this." He lifted my head with his primaries, "It isn't about the act of mating that will bring the title as mates, but the fact that we loved each other already enough, you are my wife, Bia. I need you in my life." He smiled. "You might be bored with this, but remember our song in Rio?"

I nodded, there was a throbbing inside my chest that tempted to burst. "And if I reached for your wing, for the rest of my life." He sang, I noticed that he changed the lyrics a bit before I could feel his wing touched mine. "Will you reach for my wing?" Ironically, my eyes indeed get wide when he reached for my wing, just like the lyrics in the song. I lifted my wing and tighten our grip together. "I will, and I do for the rest of my life."

My heart fluttered into the seventh heaven, our marriage might not be as complicated as human, but there was a meaning, the vow we say together. "Till death do us part."

"Till death do us part." He echoed, leaning closer and kissed me like a groom kiss his bride when they finished proclaimed their vow.

Paradoxes or not, I realized that I need to work myself with love. It was the innocuous emotion; it wasn't a thing that you can find a surrogate for it. My choices are simple, to delay and worked on that one percent that I never really knew how long it will take its time. Or, to believe that that ninety-nine percent already adequate (seems a little absurd isn't it?) for me to proceed into our union, and to be his mate forever in an irreversible act that wouldn't crash me down, in shame and guilt.

But to work on that, I need a catalyst…

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 **A/N: Please review! I really appreciated reviews, especially a constructive one! But no flame please, use ice instead.**

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	3. Sob o Luar

**A/N: After countless drafts; countless writing time, I finally finished this chapter, but then I have more work to be done... ~_~ that means less writing time...**

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 **Chapter 3**  
 **Sob o Luar**

~Beatriz~

To love and be loved is probably the most ancient pleasure and desire that ever come to a being, the succulent feeling of being desired from a person (or bird in my case) that willing to spend his remaining time with you; to hold, to kiss, to smile and to hug in the midst of the insidious tempest of reality, a shield that never waver, tempered from the majestic fire of love.

I'm not unfamiliar with such feelings. I could sense it; I could feel it; the warmth, the security and the twisting passion searing through the atmosphere akin to a fireworks display, combusting in a bright-colored illumination across the cold, dark sky.

I couldn't describe just exactly how love can drive you mad; can drive you in a state where control was merely an actual barrier that withhold the gargantuan tsunami of sheer passion of what love truly is, undulated by default, magnificent at all aspect.

Such ripples of passion and lust was surging through my system when we twirled our tongues in almost a synchronous motion, fighting for dominance as they overlaid with each other. The scorching passion could only be concluded when our lungs begged for fresh oxygen, puffing our intoxicating breaths into each other. My nostrils were induced with a heavy dose of his titillating breaths, his pheromones overloaded my brain as I fixed my eyes with his. I lifted my wings and brushed his scar; it was the sign for him to seal the parchment that contained his willingness to be with me; to become my mate.

I beamed when he closed his eyes in exhilaration, exhaling one blissful breath before his blue-colored irises reveled themselves from his eyelids, "I can't never have enough of you, Beatriz."

"I love you, Frost. I really love you." I crumpled down to his chest and dug my beak to inhale another dose of his intangible aroma as I could feel his velvety wings caressed my spine. He later nuzzled my head before plating a kiss on my forehead. I felt a tingle at the spot where his beak just recently touched my skin; a platonic kiss that allowed me to understand just how much he loves me.

I couldn't repress such urge to mesh my beak back with his, his delicious saliva was still lingering within my beak as the after-taste from our kiss earlier. Without caution, I reconvened my beak with his after recovering from the strangulated effect of our previous kiss, relishing his saliva tittered my savory senses after it swapped itself with mine. The heavenly tier of ecstasy was upon me when we waltzed our tongue again in the dance of their own.

I'm completely aware such action will end up in the societal term of "making love" if I kept myself to just savor the conjured lusts that slowly crept over my consciousness. The mere beak-lock was more than enough to become a catalyst to crumble my repressive wall and ignore the danger gauge that constantly remind me the dreading outcome if I continued. I closed my eyes and savored our romantic kiss intensified in passion and acceleration, sucking me into the whirlpool of pleasures and delight from the battle of our gustatory organs.

I couldn't stop, either wanted to stop in any reason. The luscious kiss casted my rational thoughts away, driven by the crescendo of our tongue and love in the rapturous action; a symphony from our saliva-coated muscles of passion unmatched as they entwined with each other. I wished the time remained static for that extent where our love induced with passion evolved into the utmost intimacy (well, at least for this stage) and a few pants from our olfactory senses won't enough to cease the eloquent kiss.

I didn't know how long the time had elapsed during our passionate kiss, nor such trivial matter is actually considered as important. A thread of saliva was pulled thin when we parted our beak and stared into each other's eyes. He emitted a seductive growl before I could feel his elastic muscle recited its skirmish towards mine, meshed our beak together once more like a perfect jigsaw puzzle piece.

We jolted in unison when my auditory sense detected a clearing of a throat; hot shame was searing through me when I hastily pulled out of Frost in a rather abrupt motion, the rush was inevitably to make such calamitous outcome when Frost hastily clasped his beak shut before I could slid out my tongue properly; the stinging electric zap of pain was demonstrated with a loud moan of pain that manage to put all the former romantic act into total horrific embarrassment.

I turned my head with my face turned ruby from the shame, glimpsed towards a familiar figure of my little brother with an awkward smile donned his face, "I really came at a bad time, didn't I?" He then burst into laugh, "You two should really _find a_ _hollow_."

Frost hung his head in shame, unable to make a steady eye contact with my little brother. I noticed his apologetic look when my eyes meet his, a silent remark that could be deciphered as, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to bite your tongue." Before I glared dagger at my little brother. "Wha do yee wan?" I said with my tongue remained malfunctioning, causing my clause to be equivalent with a hatchling in the beginning of talking lessons.

"I'm sorry, sis. I didn't mean to disturb a _mating ritual_ for any means."

His statement hurled more fuel to the fire of embarrassment that already presented with our reddened face, sometimes I was thankful it was Tiago that caught us "making out" – in human term – otherwise, the result might be more… catastrophic… I should say.

"It… It's not… like that… Tiago." Frost stuttered, nibbling his wingtip that made me groan, "Uhm… what… are you doing here?"

"Well, I want to talk to you about something." He replied, "But I see that you have something _else_ to do."

"Oh." Frost sheepishly replied, recovering from the initial shock and sheer embarrassment from having our love bubble popped up, I presume. "Well… uhm… It's not like that… not that I…" He groaned, "Anyway, what exactly do you want to talk to me?" He leaned closer to me and asked sheepishly, "Is your tongue okay? Sorry I didn't mean… to bite…." in a decibel that he intended for my ear only.

I flashed him a weak smile even the stinging sensation was still fresh on my tongue. "I'm fine," was all I said when Tiago resumed his chat with Frost. "I need you to help me on something, Frost." He flashed an uncomfortable smile, "Maybe we can talk it on the way; it's on the Scarlet macaw tribe."

"Oh sis, I almost forgot. Mom asked me to tell you that she wanted you to babysit Lía for today."

"Mom out for today again? Oh well, okay then." I turned my head to my lovebird, "Go home as fast as you can, or maybe you can drop by me in my Mom's hollow. I bet Lía will be ecstatic to see you."

He stiffled a chuckle, "I will, Beatriz. I really want to see that feathery bundle too." We shared one last clipped kiss before he projected himself into the air, following my little brother's suit into the vast blue sky.

* * *

To this date, I'm still unable to fathom the whole reason why my mindset has been significantly altered. Once I have an insatiable thirst of knowledge, but right now I'm standing with a bird that I never want to let go. My desire is cleanly to start a family with him, though I indeed delayed our union for something else; I won't deny my longing to have chicks on my own.

Mom and Dad had always been the so-romantic-couple I looked upon (it's not nasty, you never really asked your parents' love story, right?), and I longed such strong female character like my Mom with an endearing mate on her side, spending the time like there's no tomorrow; as if they are match-made in heaven.

Of course, the most noticeable fruit of their love is us, me and my siblings, brought into the world with a shield from my parents, teaching me a faintest hope of what's bright in the seemingly unforgiving world, back to the beginning; it is to love and be loved.

Having chicks on my own isn't exactly what I want to evade, but the consequences of having one without lots of things you need to consider before you are pretty sure that you wouldn't put your chicks in jeopardy, but inside jubilation under the sun (and some other reason why I chose to abstain).

I remembered uncle's Rafael gargantuan family with their eighteen rambunctious hyperactive hatchlings (also their tendency to unleash their wrath into someone dared enough to get close to their nest) that somehow make me ponder just how they apply the discipline for their multitude hatchlings, and judging by their behavior, the method is not exactly effective or showing any result (and I'm still confused how they can act like a butterfly without care in the world), and for that, I vowed to myself no matter how much Frost going to ask or any kind aphrodisiac injected into me, I won't have a sea of children like that.

Lía was thankfully calm and slightly energetic compared to uncle Rafael's chicks and thus taking care of her is not like taking care a baby jaguar. Lía was roughly a month old since she hatched, her posture was closer to Carla than mine except for her amber-colored irises that closer to mine, only she possessed a lighter hue.

She was fast asleep after she ate her lunch and play with me for a while. Took her half an hour to deplete her energy reserves before her eyes started to droop from the fatigue that crept in; I didn't even yet reached her nest when she fell asleep on my wings.

Unwanted to disturb her precious slumber, I settled myself on the brim of the hollow with Lía sleeping on my clutches. Her occasional stir blasted me a sense of euphoria, the tactile sensation evoked a little jittery from the friction of our plumages. I nuzzled her head tenderly before staring blankly at the sky and observed the puffy white patches on the sky; it makes me ponder if I ever touched them, would be as soft as a cushion?

I issued a muffled groan, of course clouds can't be touched, but my imagination insisted something else. I sighed when I realized that my thought already been randomized from the lack of activities I could do (with a sleeping chick on my wings) resulting my imagination soared high.

I teleported my imagination on the memory lane of this morning, reminiscing the succulent kiss we shared with each other before Tiago manage to interrupt our moment. Self-control become another queries for me when I observed how its existences alone within my love with Frost is merely an exaggerated barrier that suppress the full outcome of our love rather than a real 'failsafe'. I wouldn't forget the freedom to move my tongue inside his beak, twisting and just go wild as far as I can. I didn't care if someone was watching us; I didn't care if my beak was overloaded with his saliva; I didn't care if my lungs desperately begged for fresh oxygen; all I cared about is that he was here with me to share the pleasure and worldly desire that conjured from the ruptured love, and gave me the sense of security I longed for from a mate.

I'll be honest that sometimes I just want to let all these random thoughts that became the barricade for my love casted into the void and savored the utmost intimacy I could have- as wild; as zealous; as naughty as I can with the bird that I have love for ten years. Alas, it never been as easy as flapping your wings.

Although, I had to admit whenever I saw Lía, I always had that sense of craving to have my own offsprings, and most importantly, I wanted Frost to be their father. It's no longer the mere presence of chicks that I wanted, but to build the fortress of love with him; a family I could love for.

Lía stirred once more to find a comfortable position within my wings, the movement donned me a permanent smile. I looked at her and made a silent promise to myself: today, my sister might be the chick that sleep inside my embrace, but one day… I will cuddle my own.

* * *

" _Irmã, donde está mamãe?_ " Lía asked after she returned into the real world, yawing cutely with her high-pitched voice, " _Irmã?_ " **[Sis, where's Mommy?], [Sis?]**

I smiled with her little impatience, the traits I could place a bet was based on _someone_ obvious in my family. " _Eu não sei, mas acho que mamãe vai volte aqui em breve._ " **[I don't know, but I think she will come back soon]**

"I'm hungry..." She rubbed her face on my breast.

 _Already? You even have a larger appetite than Carla._ I chuckled internally. "Just wait, okay? Mommy will be back soon."

" _Claro…_ " She said with a weak smile. **[Okay…]**

Thankfully that my Mom didn't take too long since our last conversation, a cerulean streak soon entered the hollow with a juicy plump mango on her talon. I suppose she already predicted that Lía will be hungry by the time she got home, or maybe it's just another of those _motherly instincts_ Mom used to tell me during one of those parenting lessons.

"I bet you two have a wonderful time together?" Mom asked, attacking the mango and softening the once semi-hardened flesh into mere juice before she passed it to my little sister's awaiting beak. "You can say that, Mom. Although what she did all the time was sleeping." I issued a chuckle.

"Reminds me of you, Bia. Always easily tired when you were a chick." Mom echoed my chuckle.

"Well, I used a lot of brainpower back then, and my posture isn't exactly suited for long-term processing." I said smartly, and judging by Mom's puzzled looks, I know she didn't understand anything I just said.

"You are just like your father, always been the smartest and nerd bird." Mom quipped, "And I proud to have you as my family."

The "nerd" label wasn't exactly something offensive for me, mainly from my Mom because I know she never intended to offend me in any way. After all, I'm her children, and I'm pretty sure no mother will neglect their children, right?

…

…

Oh, right. Cheese and sprinkles.

A burp escaped from Lía's beak when she finished swallowing the last juice Mom gave her; her high energy reserves pulled the energetic lever to the active side when I saw her vibrant eyes widened. "Mommy, when I can fly?"

 _One month, I don't think her wings are developed enough to have a proper airlift…_

"Soon, sweetie. Soon" Mom patiently replied.

"But I want to fly, many birds fly and I want to fly too."

I giggled internally with her innocence and obliviousness towards the world, only fulfilling the basic desire to grow up soon and join the adult party. Mom soothed her by nuzzling her forehead, "You are reminded me a lot of Tiago, Lía. Just wait, okay? When you are old enough, Mommy will teach you."

A disappointed look was obviously engraved her face when she heard Mom's remark. She sighed before addressing a few approving nods, "Okay… but I really want to fly…"

Observing Mom's adamant patience made me write some mental notes on how to become a lovely mother for my future hatchlings, certainly the road will be full of tedious and arduous tasks, but I bet it will be worth when I can hear my progenies chirped in delight, one day… One day I _will_ have mine.

I casted my gaze towards the amber tint that already colored the sky, surprised with the haste of the time flows by. Frost hadn't yet showed up when I decided to make a trip back to my hollow. "Mom, I think I should head back now." I said, smiling at my little sister that currently occupied my Mom's back.

"Thank you for today, I'm glad you want to help me taking care of your little sister." She beamed, "Although Bia, I have one question."

"Huh, what is it Mom?"

"When can I see my grandchildren?"

My face was flushed with embarrassment when my brain registered my Mom's query, "Uh… that appear out of nowhere." (sheesh Mom…) I whispered, "Oh… I… Uh…"

It took me two full minutes of stutter to realize that she was jesting with me when I saw the wide grin on her face. I slapped my wing to my face – as in 'facepalm' in human term – and groaned.

"I'm just kidding, Bia." She chuckled and looked at my reddened face, "Although I'm really looking to see your chicks with Frost."

I issued a sarcastic chuckle, "Very funny, Mom. Anyway, I need to go now, see you later, you too, _irmã_." I brushed her face with my wings until she let out an annoyed snort.

* * *

The definition of freedom is incredibly vary if you ever asked a couple of people inside one group. Some can describe the freedom like flying (at least for birds), while some can say that freedom is like living without a care in the world.

There's also some certain freedom inside the art of love when you able to squeeze all the juice of your heart and poured it to the person that you hold so tight in your life. Sexual cravings – not to sound derogatory – is one of the things you can't avoid when you induced yourself inside a romantic relationship, because by default, love and lust is a twin sister, they are synergized by nature, and I learned even with just how much I wanted to abstain, it will reach me eventually.

The sight of my hollow soon materialized when I was just meters away from planting my talon on the wooden-textured surface of my hollow's floor. I walked inside the silence that blanketed the room with deafening intensity.

 _Tap…_

 _Tap…_

 _No, he isn't yet home…_ I mused when I looked at the sudden barren and enormous construction of my abode. The silence pierced through my ear in a decibel that could rip my eardrum apart – metaphorically – and I delved myself back to reminiscing the memories of my previous visit to babysit Lía.

I looked at the empty hollow and sighed; the atmosphere was dull and boring when I waited for my mate's return to my embrace. I fantasized the family member that will fill the empty 'rooms' one day and I saw myself and Frost together in it.

A warm sensation shackled me back into the real world as a pair of periwinkle-colored wings enveloped me, the aroma of his sweet pheromones intoxicated my nostrils when I heard him muttered, "Hey beautiful."

I rotated my body one-hundred and eighty degrees angle to meet his vibrant blue eyes, his periwinkle wings still blanketed me within the warmth of his love. He pressed me tighter into his body when my beak met his, reconvening our tongues together in one sugary kiss.

I dug my beak into his chest when the kiss concluded, savoring his warmth spread out throughout my body with his titillating scent fulfilled my desire to know that he was with here with me to relish the love we had for each other.

I exhaled one blissful sigh and leveled my gaze back with him, looking at his amorous stare towards me. "I'm sorry for being a little late. Let's just say… Tiago's problem was much more complicated than I thought."

"Huh? What exactly he asked for help with?"

"I'm not allowed to speak." He put his primaries in his beak, "But maybe I can say a few clues and you can try to- "

"Nah, if he wants to keep it a secret then do it. I think I will know it sooner or later anyway." I interjected. "Besides, right now I just want you to hug me; I miss you so much." I closed my eyes in exhilaration.

I could feel his velvety wings caressed my back with his head rested on my forehead. "I have a surprise for you."

I opened my eyes and looked at him enthusiastically, "Oh really? What is that?"

"Follow me," He said, unfurling his wings and soared into the evening sky. I untucked my wings and followed his suit, predicting the kind of surprise he might set for me.

Took us around ten minutes of flight before Frost descended into a kapok tree, "Wait here for a while." He said before he immersed into the jungle foliage.

He then returned with two pairs of different fruits on his respective talons. My eyes rapidly recognize the type of fruits – or berries – he brought for me. "I can't believe you find _camu camu_ and _acerola_ berries in here."

He chuckled, "I found this by accident earlier today, I bet you will like to taste them."

I accepted his kind offer and hastily devoured the delectable treats, licking my beak to wipe the remaining sweet juice that stained my beak. "This is… very delicious."

He smiled, "Thankfully the trees are reserved for us only, so we can enjoy as much as we can."

"Oh, is this a date?"

He blushed, "Well, yes. We never have any dates anymore, and I want to have one with you today…"

"Frost, I like it. Thank you for this, I love you." I leaned down towards him and gave him a kiss, infused with the sweet-flavored berries.

He collected a mound of berries for us to eat while we snuggled together, watching the full moon illuminating the jungle with its silvery radiance. The tranquil atmosphere immersed myself and him in the bubble of our love, care not to the world around us as we enjoyed each other's presence.

I grabbed one of the acerola berries and smacked my beak shut, pinching the berries to explode in the burst of tart juice as I chewed, and swallowed it with a satisfying gulp. I let my beak stained with scarlet dye and continued to eat the scrumptious berries, occasionally looking at my lovebirds that frozen at the sight of the majestic full moon.

"Frost?"

He rotated his head and saw me. "Whoa there! I thought you were a vampire…"

I chortled, unable to speak from the masses of berry-like juice on my beak.

"You really don't want to wipe that, huh? It's barbaric…"

I gulped it down and answered rhetorically, "Or maybe I just want you to wipe the juice away."

He formed a mischievous grin saturated with playfulness. "Oh really, you want me to lick that clean?"

It is almost like a magnet with opposite polar on how our beaks kept reunify with each other. I inserted my tongue towards his cavern, licking the lingering taste of the fruits he just ate on his rooftops. His tongue trailed on my stained beak, wiping the blotches of juice clean from it and shuddered in delight. "It's tastes so much better from your mouth."

I flashed him a smile and continued our kiss, reciting the interrupted morning kiss that manage to overpower my self-control. I twisted my tongue wildly, battling his gustatory organ in one epic wrestle match before Frost clipped our kiss from the earsplitting thunder. "Seems we need to go home soon."

I cursed mother nature for interrupting yet my another romantic moment, nonetheless, I nodded and followed his suit back into our hollow. The sky began to leak when we were a quarter away from our abode, I shivered from the blizzardous wind that impaired my flight as fat droplets of freezing water started its skirmish towards the earth below. Frost trapped my wings and hastily sandwiched me between his talons, carrying me into our hollow with his body acting like a shield from the unrelenting barrage of rainwater.

I could detect his shivers when we landed on our hollow and retreated hurriedly into our nest. His damp feathers were fully erected to maintain his body heat when he shook the freezing droplets away from his plumages and continued to stammer violently.

I unfurled my wings and hugged him tighter than ever, "Thank you," I said as I snuggled deeper to share my body warmth to him, "For always protecting me."

He donned me a smile and kissed me on my forehead. "I love you, Beatriz." His wings enveloped me, trapping our body heat together. I pushed him down intentionally, causing him to land on his back. He looked at me with a confused yet seductive gaze, "Bia…"

I couldn't hold it; I couldn't contain the raw passion that burning hotter than ever, my desire; my lust to have him; to learn the art of 'making love' was invoked in one single blow when I started to nibble his neck feathers. I could feel his wings hold mine as we locked our beak for the countless times. "Frost… take me as your mate; _love me tonight_."

* * *

 **A/N: If you think I deserve a review, don't hesitate to give me one. I promise I will try to make the next one come out faster.**

 **Sob o Luar means Under the Moonlight in Portuguese... or something like that...**

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	4. Com todo meu coração para ti

**A/N: I can't believe it has been more than one month since the last time I updated my story. And you guys might find my writing got a little horrid T_T. Anyway, I'm back for more, since college finally gave me a break, I can continue my stories (not just this one, even this story is the first on the priority list). I hope you like it... even it is short. Hey, at least I updated it!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**  
 **Com todo meu coração para ti**

~Frost~

I once had a dream when I was a chick, when the world somehow felt so hostile towards me; when the pursue of happiness was a race I could never win. The chilling morning was one of the things I recalled when I woke from my slumber of rejuvenation, yet within the coldness, the comfort was solitude; draining the colors from my life as another tedious day began.

Fantasizing myself to have someone I could care for was never been something I really paid attention – and you can also say how oblivious I was with this sort of things – unbeknownst on how the fate will foretold another strings of connection that would alter my life once for all, and finally realized the happiness bestowed upon me would be sooner – perhaps to slap me that it is not mere fantasy.

I yawned as my heavy eyelids refused to open, and even with the tiniest crack from them, the hazy vision would soon greeted me with the familiarity of a lifetime. Shifted my head on the other side, my nostrils were filled with fumes of lovely scent, addition with my senses that slowly restored their proper functions, I could detect a heavy pressure on my chest.

Though I was still in daze upon registering what was happening within my life, a crescent moon smile unable to hide the joy conquering my soul. As in the greatest dream I had to have an angel sleeping on my wings, albeit, it was not a dream – but a reality waiting for an affirmation.

The blurry image on my eyes stroked in a complete focus after one full minute elapsed with another blizzardous gusts ventilating towards my nest, absorbing the heat and escaped hastily to trade places with its other chilling siblings. The cerulean macaw stirred with a mumble as her feathers started to perk up, a natural mechanism to trap her body heat and remained comfortable within the arctic burn.

I moved my wings to encase the sleeping angel in a steady warmth, engraving a wise smile on her face with satisfaction of the comfort I offered. Though it was infectious as well when my beak beamed widely as my vision glimpsed over her exquisite, gratifying face – and I dared myself to let out a leisure sigh.

I planted my nostrils onto her crest feathers, where the sweet perfume of hers was at the finest. Intoxicating by default as I acquired the tranquil, relaxing state after a few doses of her pheromones, and yet it wasn't enough for me to stop inducing myself with it. She then succulently rubbed her head on my cushion chest, relaying me a sheer ecstasy beyond words to explain.

Tighten my grip over her, I kissed her forehead tenderly before whispering with a voice of the wind. "I love you," for what seems like since an eternity had been ejected from my mouth, yet neither get old nor losing the meaning over those simple words.

Her smile remained as I gently rubbed my head with hers, the pulse of euphoria from her soft plumages against mine was relayed ceaselessly, even after I terminated my act to avoid disturbed her precious slumber the glow of her love still shimmering as bright as the sun. Closing my eyes, I savored her presence within my wings with a tight embrace the former intended to cease her occasional shivers from Skadi's spell and the later I enjoyed greatly.

And somehow, even my soul still believe that it was just a dream, a very serene dream, in the aftermath, I need to understand and aware that the sleeping angel within my wings was not a mirage, but the one and only who deserve all my heart, and I am more than proud to call her my mate.

Bia was still trapped within her slumber even after it seemed like thirty minutes since my wakening, yet still showing no signs of arousal from her peaceful slumber either. I admired her exquisite-angelic figure, a flawless creation of beauty that never fades ever since I met her for the first time.

I remembered the promise I made for her, that, as her sentinel, I will always be standing next to her; ensuring she won't get cold or go hungry. Loving her is my greatest desire, to see her smile once more, her soft and tender hazel-colored eyes shimmering with joy, and to cleanly give her a chance to taste the fruit of love; a family we can love for together.

Smelling her natural perfume allowed me to bond the intangible chain that I hoped will last for eternity, and a kiss proved enough to show the beating pulse of love I had for her; one more time on her forehead as her fervent breath puffing out into my nostrils and intoxicated me.

The golden orb of majestic flare finally ascended to its rightful throne on the sky, casting the shades away into oblivion and basking the land with its glorious radiance. Many macaws would rise from their nest to savor the magnificent morning – though, the chilling wind would become quite a nuisance, the atmosphere still bliss nonetheless.

An idea soon manifested within my head when I felt my empty belly began to groan. The sleeping angel, however, failed to answer her internal alarm, maybe the fatigue from our night still affected her energy reserves. Even I realized my intention was good to find some food for her when she finally awakes, compromising still opt to happen when the memories of the previous moment emerged, a vision of Bia, shivering when the gusts of freezing winds swept over our nest – and that alone let me unable to leave her with cold winds ready to disrupt her beauty sleep.

Albeit the temperature had risen several degrees thanks to the sun's heat, I wouldn't take any chances to let my lovely mate entrapped within the coldness. Desperate to find a solution for the dilemmatic problem, my eyes rapidly scrutinized the whole nest to find something that could become a surrogate for my wings; ensuing Bia will still feel comfy even without me on the nest.

To my behalf when I realized our moss-padded nest could also be used as a blanket sans my presence in it, thus protecting her from the chilling gust while I was gone to find some breakfast for her. Smiling, I gingerly shifted my wings and let her slide into the nest, carefully placed her head onto the moss while on the same time, enveloping her within the moss where some of my body heat still remained on them. Showing no signs of disturbance, I kissed her forehead and whispered, "I'll be right back; I love you."

She flashed me another crescent moon smile before I silently made my way into the hollow's opening, tasting an ample of freezing yet refreshing morning air, occasionally spotting a few dewdrops gracefully fell onto the soil below. I unfurled my wings and gave them a few stretch, preparing my wing muscles for the crusade of foods for my loved one.

Even it was so tempting to stay for a while and savored the tranquility, I chose not to delay my quest; soon enough, I projected myself into the sky rich with yellow and orange hues from the rising sun in the horizon.

Occasional breeze swept over my wings, and I was so fortunate to have some resistances towards the coldness. Thinking the kind of breakfast apt for my lovely mate, I banked right and head straight towards a tree where the pulp of its star-shaped fruit was the finest.

The sweet scent of the Carambolas soon seduced my nostrils as I landed myself on the branch of the tree, doing a mental checkup on the condition of the fruit that possessed the finest flavor from the criteria: color, shape, aroma, flesh density before I assumed a few approving nods and jerked one that matched my standards.

A sight of cocoon caught my attention when I began my endeavor to snatch the food apart from its branches; one that slowly began to crack open. I terminated my work and observed the process of a butterfly struggled to free itself from its cocoon; not for so long, however, when the butterfly succeeded to free itself from the cocoon that once become home for its metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly.

The butterfly slowly spread its beautiful iridescent wings; A blue Morpho judging by the perfect azure color that mesmerized my eyes. Bia would have been ecstatic to see the natural transformation of butterflies – the fact with how much she had books about them – unfortunate enough that she couldn't enjoy the attractive spectacle in front of my eyes.

The last thought slapped me harshly when I realized I'd taken more time than I should. Hastily I jerked two star-fruits from their branches and held them tightly within my talons. Unfurling my wings, I flapped them as fast as I could with a hope that my mate still fell within the spell of fatigue.

My smile intensified when I thought about the kind of happiness I could bring when she got herself a breakfast in bed – even I had to admit it's not really that special – care not about other things and just stay relaxed. The sight of my hollow soon materialized before my eyes, and joyfully I landed on the entrance with the sweet-mouth-watering star fruit in my talons; imagining the kind of smile will soon greeted me.

But what I saw next devastated my heart.

The hollow was still quiet when I finally arrived and hurriedly made my way into our nest, wanted to surprise Bia with the breakfast I got for her – not to mention that star-fruit was her favorite fruit. Suddenly, a soft cry reverberated into my eardrum; though, it was quite eerie to hear that, I poked my head into our nest and to my horror, I saw Bia sobbing in the corner…

My heart was shattered when I saw her wallowed in sadness, as she had lost something that incredibly precious for her. I gingerly walked towards her unsuspecting self and asked. "Bia… What's wrong…?"

Her eyes widened when she rotated her head and faced me, her beautiful hazel eyes tinted with hot salty tears as she charged over me… and hugged me tightly…

She remained silent (well, except for her sobbing) and keep hugging me tightly, as she afraid I was going to disappear into thin air. I reciprocated her hug, gently compensated her with the love I solely reserved for her; my one and only. "Bia…, are you okay?"

She let my question remained unanswered and ceaselessly poured her hot tears into my chest – not that I cared one iota about that – but the reason of her sudden outburst triggered my anxiety. Nevertheless, I wrapped my wings into her silky body and caressed her occasionally.

Through a soft whisper, I heard. "I thought you left me…" again and again; it felt like a thousand needle was pierced into me whenever I heard it.

I pecked her forehead. "I'm here, Bia; I'm here for you."

She lifted her head and locked gaze with me, her soft and enchanting eyes were tinted with tears. I lifted my wings and wiped them away, "Hey… it's okay; I'm here now. I will never leave you."

She succumbed into my embrace and I patiently hugged my anxious mate within my wings. It was then when I realized some feathers of hers were plucked on her wings and her body; mentally cursed myself for making a such stupid decision to leave her alone.

I should have known the after-sex affirmation was the crucial thing I need to remember after we took ourselves as each other's mate, yet, my obliviousness already hurt her even since day one. Guilt was soon upon me when I looked once more into her tears tinted face… if only I could travel back in time to fix that…

"Bia… I'm sorry…" I started, breaking the silence that engulfed us. "I'm sorry I left you alone… I was just looking for breakfast… for you…"

I lifted her face with my primaries and stared her eyes with an apologetic look, "Forgive me?"

She nodded and wiped her tears away. "Promise me… you will never leave me…"

I smiled and confidently replied, "I promise; pinkie promise."

"Okay…" She said weakly, still crumpled onto my chest, but thankfully, she had stopped crying.

Served the awkward situation, I glimpsed upon the yellow fruits stranded on the wake of our nest, the result of my hasty approach to Bia earlier. "Hey, how about we get some breakfast?" I said, concluding our hug and offered her the bright yellowish fruit. "I know your favorite."

Her beak formed a weak smile; that alone allowing my anxious soul to be admonished right away. "Oh you remember, isn't that nice?"

"I bet this one will be the best you've ever tasted."

"I'll be the judge of that."

She then lifted the fruit and took a small nibble on it, and with the burst of the flavor like that, I was sure it was perfect as I saw her face lighten up with delight. I too, take a little bite of the Carambolas and savored the sweet and sour flavor-rich juice pampered my savory senses. "If you can describe the taste in one word, what would it be?"

"Perfect."

"Yeah, spot on answer." I said as I gladly consumed the rest of the scrumptious treat.

"I don't know why I doubted you about everything… it seems like you always surprise me with just how… perfect you are for me…" She paused, looking at me before she issued a sigh. "And… I should have known that you will-"

To be honest, her doubt could be a mega insult for me; like even after all the time we spent our time together, yet she kept herself not to trust me… I guess. But I tried myself to comprehend the reason behind it, besides, I love her too much to think that as an insult, but rather, another thing I need to fix within our relationship, to make her even more secure and loved.

I silenced her with my primary in front of her beak and shot her an amorous stare, "Bia, it's okay; I perfectly understand. You are my mate, and I will never, ever leave you alone. I'll always standing next to you; I'll never let you get cold or go hungry; this is my promise." I lift her head and saw her face glistened with tears.

"I hate you, you know that, right?"

I issued an ephemeral chuckle before wrapping my wings on her. "Com todo meu coração para ti, Beatriz. Você é meu todo." [With all my heart for you, Beatriz. You are my everything.]

She lighten up and wiped her tears away, eating the rest of the fruit with a bright smile on her face, it, made my heart took a leap when I realized just how pretty she is: her perfect silky feathers; her sweet hazel-colored irises; her weird (unique) sprouting upwards tail; all packed in a single form a perfection, a form of an angel.

"Hello? Earth to Frost?"

"Uh what? Oh, hi…"

"Are you being voyeuristic?"

"What? No… I'm just… admiring your beauty…"

"Yeah… I believe you." She replied with a sarcastic tone.

I slapped my wings onto my face. "I was telling you the truth!"

"You know, you can always ask, Frost… we are mates after all." She chortled.

I shook my head and ate the rest of my breakfast with my face turned ruby, though the accusation was not really right, but when your sexy mate asked you something like that…

"How about we watch the sunrise?"

She assumed a few approving nods after our breakfast performed their disappearing act. On the brim of our hollow, we sat together, snuggling to enjoy each other's presence. My though drifted away into the very first time I opened my eyes and asked if this was a dream, however, whenever I saw her face, I know it wasn't a dream.

"You did it again…"

"Actually, I was about to ask for a kiss."

"And what are you waiting for to be exact?"

"Um… I don't know… maybe…"

She pulled my head into a sugary kiss, moving our beak and neck muscle to relish each other's love. I never want the gratification from the battle of our gustatory organs to cease, just letting all the passion conquer my soul, to tell her that I love her with all my heart, as deep as the Grand Canyon.

"I love it… when you not holding it." She said as we concluded our kiss with our nostrils puffing hot breath akin to a twin steam machine.

"Yeah, I know..."

"Frost… do you think… we might get chicks soon?"

"Funny when you asked me that."

"Huh?"

"I mean… I know we will."

She only nodded and retraced her head back on my chest as we lost ourselves on our respective thoughts.

"This is a great start." I muttered under my breath, barely audible for myself as I pressed her closer towards me. "A lovely mate, check. A family is next on the list." I asked her. "Will you help me to complete it?"

"You know I will, trouble yourself not." She replied with a smile.

* * *

 **I**

 **I**

 **I**

 **V**


	5. Title as Mates: Part 1

**Chapter 5**  
 **Title as Mates: Part 1**

~Frost~

I couldn't despise the fact that I am madly in love with the bird that currently snuggling into my wings, nor that I will ever claim such opportunities to turn my tables and shattered her heart. I didn't know what would be my life without her, staring at the same greyscale rainbow that slowly consumed my soul, until all of the sudden, she splashed the color into them; the day when I met her for the first time.

I never really imagined the bird I had always stared from the distance – and rather creepy when I put it that way – would one day take me as her mate. I recalled the first time we shared our kiss, when the emotion within conquered my soul to confess the kind of tidal wave of love I had for her. And to be honest myself, I never expected we would end up as mates.

I completely aware of her doubts during our relationship until the day she wanted me to be her mate, but to be considerate, the liability of love sometimes able to pierce even the thickest cocoon of love. Call me naïve, but I rather let myself oblivious over this and let myself love her as much as I can, because I know she loves me back, period.

Simply I can't live without her, she was the sole reason why I'm eager to see tomorrow; to wake up and see her beautiful face smiling in happiness once more, filling my soul with inexplicable delight; to love her more for another day.

I love her because I want to, just like when someone said they have an ability to shape their lives, that will also work for the fact that there's nothing could ever stop me to love her.

Or perhaps, I spoke too soon.

* * *

A mighty crackle of celestial thunder rung my eardrum in a deafening intensity, causing my eyelids to snap open and restored my sight rather instantly. The once glorious morning was replaced with brewing overcast on the horizon that threatened to unleash the havoc for the puny mortal below.

I turned my head and saw Bia fell asleep on my wings, seemingly unaffected with the recent boom of unearthly thunder that its decibel could rip one's eardrum apart. I frowned when I detected a rather abnormally hot breath puffed into my wings, a sign that something was wrong with her. Placing my free wing on her forehead confirming my suspicion on her not-so-well-being and that alone already lashed me another wave of concern.

A bright illuminating thunder was spawned outside, one of the signs that the siege of rainwater would soon began. I furrowed my eyebrows in desperation to carry my mate inside before the storm began. Waking her up in her current condition wasn't exactly the best idea, but I left with no other options to carry her into our nest sans waking her up. "Bia, Bia…" I gently nudged her, trying to wake her up without much hassle.

She issued an incomprehensible mumble before she opened her eyes and stared at me, "Huh… Frost… what is it?" She yawned and rubbed her eyes with her wings.

Tangled within guilt for disrupting her peaceful slumber – not to mention her condition as well – I shot her an apologetic look, "Sorry for waking you up, but there's a storm coming up, we better get inside." Giving her a helping talon, I also noticed a look of discomfort in her facial expression which gave me a cyclical spike of concern, "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

She placed her wings on her head, "My head hurts…"

I placed my head into her warm body, sensing her warmth already increased since the last time I checked it. "We better get you some rest…" I said, concern started to possess my conscience "Come on; let me help you."

She nodded before she reached for my wing and initiated her endeavor to lift herself from the floor. I could see how much effort she put herself to just merely lift herself from the floor, later evolved a deeper distress on her condition. She finally able to stand up, just merely two seconds before she got glued back to the floor with her wings on her head.

"Bia… are you okay? Can you walk?"

"My head… it hurts…"

I caressed her crest feathers and replied, "It's okay… it'll be over soon." Though my words couldn't possibly dispel the agony she currently experiencing. I lifted my head and saw the sky began to leak, chilling breeze soon engulfed us as the clouds released its load into the spongy earth below.

Her whimpers of pain finally receded a bit, etching a relief within my soul. I saw her feathers began to perk up, and given her situations, I know I should carry her into the nest, quick.

"Alright, hop to my back." I said.

"Huh…?"

"I will carry you into our nest, just hop in."

"Okay…" She replied weakly and climbed onto my back, though it was effortful for her. She later warped her wings against my neck with her head hung limply on my shoulder.

Times like this made me ponder about my role as her mate, to keep her safe and take care of her while she rendered helpless to take care of her own – not to sound immodest, however – and envisaged herself trapped within the coldness without someone to keep her warm devastated my heart. Bia is not a weak bird, I know her; the rather intrepid traits passed down by her mother lives within her, only it isn't as profound as her intelligence, yet she is just a bird, still yearned for a sense of security against this hostile world.

When I looked at her sleeping form, a concoction of happiness and worry was being brewed; I am happy to know that she chose me to be her mate, yet I'm also worried that I can't always be there for her when she needs me the most.

I shook my head, casting the thought into the void as I realized her unusual body warmth need more attention than anything else, "Ready?"

"Mmm… hm…" She whispered, her eyes closed.

Satisfied with her answer, I dared myself to take the steady steps into our nest while ensuring she would not fall from my back. Carrying my own mate on my back probably never been crossed my mind, but when I finally experiencing it, I wished it would last.

The walk to our nest was merely less than two minutes – save for some difficulties to hold her in place (Bia might be petite, but she weights more than she looks) – which I greatly enjoyed as her mate to be there for her when she needs me, fulfilling my duty and promise for her.

I carefully dismounted her from my back and put her to our moss-padded nest, placing a kiss on her forehead as I finished to do so. She assumed a very weak smile and opened her weary eyes, "Thank you…"

"No need to thank me, love." I said, holding her wings. "Now, rest, okay?"

"Frost… can you give me some water… my beak is so dry…"

I nodded in anticipation, "Sure," before snatching one empty Brazil nut's shell and filled it with the rainwater outside. I could see how thirsty she was when she exhausted it in a ground-breaking record. "Want more?"

She shook her head weakly. "No, I think I have enough."

I caressed her crest feathers with my wings, "Do you need anything else?"

Her pale hazel-colored eyes shot me a look, as in relaying a non-verbal desire that she wanted me to fulfill. Failed to understand what she meant, I adopted a rather awkward reply, "Uh…?"

She sighed and replied huskily, "Can you sleep with me? I'm… cold…"

"Oh… Sure…" I said timidly, shameful for not noticing the rather obvious wish she sought.

She donned me a weak smile the moment I placed myself next to her, unfolding my wings and let her rested her head on my chest. I enveloped my wings to her feverous body and she sighed in exhilaration as the spot become perfect for her to gain comfort. I too, let out a leisure sigh when her luscious, velvety feathers pressed against mine, "Sleep well, _meu amor._ "

Bia shifted her head on my chest a couple of times before she surrendered into drowsiness, teleporting her consciousness to the realm of slumbers. I exhaled one blissful sigh as I saw her sleeping in serenity, convincing me that she had undergone into a restorative sleep and she will be back on her own-self when she finally woke up.

I didn't exactly have any plans to sleep, but served the cold-comforting circumstances, the drowsy poison had already been injected into my body, causing my eyelids to be much heavier than they should be. I glimpsed over my sleeping mate once more and compensated a kiss to her cheek reminiscent of a dainty butterfly before I could feel the potent venom of drowsiness began to affect my self-consciousness. I yawned as the coldness ruffled my plumages, a catalyst for me to finally succumb to the venomous gale of tiredness that befallen upon me.

* * *

The sun was slowly dipped in the horizon, basking the land with its last golden beam. The glorious radiance was truly a mother nature's masterpiece as I savored the salty winds blew from the Copacabana beach. I rotated my head sideways, looking at the most beautiful bird with her eyes sparkling from the sea of molten gold in front of us.

She exhaled one heavenly breath before her beautiful, vibrant eyes locked with mine, an utter affection shimmering within its hazel-colored irises as we leaned closer and shared one passionate kiss.

"This is the life, isn't it?" I said as we terminated our kiss.

"Yeah, it's truly paradise…"

"With you, honey, I think every place is paradise."

"You are a flatterer; you know that?" She replied, unable to hide the shade of peach adorned her cheeks.

"You know, my empress, that it is the truth."

She reclined her head on my chest as we returned our gaze to the rinsing sphere on the horizon. My nostrils soon caught up with her fragrance perfume when I planted my beak on her head, tautening my wings to press her into me closer. I exhaled a heavenly breath as sheer serenity filled my soul, rubbing my head on hers while enjoying the last light of the day sinking into the vista.

Within my wings, I heard her said: "Your eloquence flows like a river… I love it when you love me like this; I love you."

I couldn't help but blush and reward her with a peck on her cheek, "You are too lovely to not be loved; I mean, I am lucky that I have you as my mate."

"Then you better keep me, or I will hop into others." She quipped.

I enveloped my wings and encased her completely as I replied: "Consider that a promise."

I closed my eyes as the summer breeze ruffled my plumages, enjoying every frame of this moment with the bird I will never trade for anything. My senses were dulled, solely averted their focus for the comfort of the bird in front of me.

Whimpers of pain reverberated towards my eardrum just three seconds since the silence started. I quickly peeled my eyes to search the source of such noise – which oddly made my soul become anxious – yet, within my area of wits, I noticed nothing was wrong.

I shook my head and returned myself to savor my time. Nevertheless, the whimpers gradually increased in decibels, and it took me a while before I realized the familiarity of such voice. Bia was no longer within my wings, as she just disappeared into thin air, yet her vocalization was clear. Frantically, I swung my head rapidly to spot her as the world around me started to distort into a whirlpool of color, until what was left was darkness…

* * *

Bia was shifting uncomfortably the moment my consciousness anchored back into the real world, her anguish cries pierced my heart as I glimpsed her face with my blurry eyes. I caressed her head with my free wing when my body relayed me her 'alarmingly' body heat.

I furrowed my eyebrows as her whimpers jolted slightly before it assumed the former decibel, allowing me to understand just how much pain she endured. Caressing her head was the only thing I could do – and hoped – to ease her pain, even in the slightest, which made me powerless to help her.

My anxious state inexorably reached its full potential, causing me to panic on how to help her condition; the thunder roaring in the distance only retained my anxiety unadmonished, clouding my head to think clearly to help my sick mate.

Her whimpers finally subdued after it seemed like an eternity I stroked her head – which seemingly have no effect on her – and thanks the stars the angst reduced to a tier where my head began to work properly again.

She needed more than just a restorative sleep, considering her headache might resurface at any moment, not to mention her incredibly high temperature. I took three bountiful breaths of relief and estimated the distance of our nest to the healer's hollow, internally praised the heaven when I recalled how close the distance is. Memories of this morning evoked into my head as I prepared myself to move Bia from my wings – the vision of her crying because I left her – and trapped in a dilemmatic decision was the least I wanted in this kind of situation.

I might rekindle the cold fuse of her former sadness, or even worse, improving her sickness from the psychological pain it could cause if I decided to leave her alone (with another precondition if she was aware of my absence). Nevertheless, her health wasn't something I'm comfortable to gamble with, and for that I decided to take a trip into the healer's hollow and retrieved anything I could to help ease her pain.

Reenacting my morning act, I tenderly moved her head and placed it on the moss-padded nest, silently praying to heaven my act would not disrupt her slumber she needed the most to recover. I hastily retreated into the entrance after ensuing she remained within her slumber, flexing my flight muscle to pierce towards the raging tempest outside.

I took one last glance into our nest before I unfurled my wings and soared towards the healer's hollow.

Barrage of rainwater akin to an armada attack pierced through my plumages and soaked my skin, their chilling personality promptly conjured spikes of vicious coldness that jolted into my spine. The image of Bia keep motivated me to go further even after relentless rainwater already soaked me, trying to absorb any body heat within my body to succumb me into a threat of hypothermia.

Fortunate enough that I didn't need to get that far as the sight of the healer's hollow soon materialized from the hazy vision – thanks to the rain – which brought me a smile as I landed on its wooden-textured surface.

" _Olá?"_ I called, my voice echoing through the utter silence that blanketed the hollow. **[Hello?]**

 _"Sim! Espera!"_ an alto voice resonated from the inside before a fine aged figure of a female Spix's macaw manifested in my eyes.

" _Olá! Posso ajudá-lo?_ " She smiled and gracefully cleaned the quite chaotic room, " _Perdoa-me por o disordem._ " **[Hello! How can help you?], [I'm sorry for the mess.]**

" _Está bom, mas minha esposa necessita algo urgente._ _Ele está doente."_ **[It's okay, but mate need something important. She is sick.]**

" _Qual é sua doença?_ " **[What is her sickness?]**

" _Ela tem febre._ " **[Fever.]**

She nodded and replied, " _Entendo, por favor espera-me aqui, te trarei algo para sua esposa posso recuperar._ " **[Okay, please wait me here, I will take something for your mate.]**

" _Obrigado... eh..._ " **[Thank you... uhm...]**

" _Letícia, você pode me chamar Letícia._ " She said as she rummaged through the herbs stored inside a small hollow. **[Letícia, you can call me Letícia.]**

" _Meu nome é Frost._ " I said in a friendly manner. She glimpsed over me briefly before resuming her previous activity. **[My name is Frost.]**

I craned my neck to see the multi-variant herbals she had in that small hollow, hopes high that she might have something to ease Bia's pain and let her dwell into the restorative sleep she required the most. My beak couldn't resist to smile when she picked one of the leaves – well, all of the herbs stored were leaf – and detected a rather disturbed facial expression on the elderly macaw.

She turned her head and lifted a piece of leaf, just one, diminutive leaf. Through a disappointed look she sighed and admitted, " _Bom, tenho algo para sua esposa..._ " Lifting the leaf she added, " _mas infelizmente, não tenho mais de esta erva._ " **[Well, I have something for your mate...], [But unfortunately, I don't have more of this herb.]**

I groaned internally with not only the coldness that started to infuriate me, but the quest remained incomplete (the thought of Bia might awake and find me absent didn't help) after the whole ordeal when I pierced the storm. I tried to calm myself and examined the leaf she held, an idea popped in my head that I knew could finally help Bia.

" _Você sabe onde posso encontrá-la?_ " **[Do you know where I can find it?]**

She passed me the leaf as she put her wing on the direction of the Brazil nut grove, " _Você pode encontrar cerca de o arvoredo de castanha do Pará, um pouco ao sul, cerca do rio._ " **[You can find it near the Brazil nut grove, a little south, near the stream.]**

I made a mental calculation on how far the Brazil nut grove before nodded and expressing my gratitude for her help, " _Legal, muito obrigado, Letícia_." **[Nice, thank you very much, Letícia.]**

She shot me a concerned look when she saw me unfurling my wings, " _Espera, está seguro a voar em meio de a tormenta?_ " **[Wait, are you sure it is wise to fly in the midst of the storm?]**

" _Eu aprecio sua preocupação, mas não está tão longe, não posso suportar vê-la sofrer mais._ " **[I appreciate your concern, but it's not that far, besides, I can't stand seeing her writhing in pain.]**

" _É raro ver tanta dedicação de um macho a sua esposa. Você realmente a ama, não?_ " " _Bom, tentar de não doente depois de você a cura-la._ " She chuckled with her own quip. **[It's rare to see such dedication from a male to his wife. You must really love her, right?], [Well, just try not to get sick after you cure her.]**

I too, couldn't resist to stifle a chuckle as I reassumed my former plan, " _Eu sei, obrigado de novo por me ajudar!_ " **[I will, thanks again for helping me!]**

" _De nada, Frost._ " **[It's nothing, Frost.]**

Another crackle of thunder was spawned when I projected myself into the sky, illuminating the jungle ephemerally before the darkness reclaimed it. Letícia was kind enough to lend me the last stock of the herb as a sample in my quest, which proven to be much harder than it seemed before – well, thanks again for the rain – after countless barrage of freezing gusts started to test my endurance against the cold.

The Brazil nut trees' sight was no more than a soaked menace when I reached my destination and hurriedly scrutinized the site for the herb that could help my mate return to her peaceful slumber. I could no longer feel my wings the moment I took a little shelter time under the canopy of the trees with the seemingly endless rain proved to be mischievous obstacle. Shivering, I examined the site for the leaves that matched the description with the sample one on my talon, and soon cursed the mother nature for making the crusade virtually impossible to complete. Nonetheless, I kept hopping from one branch to another as the stream gradually closing in.

And just on my sheer luck, I saw the plant I was looking for.

I couldn't describe just how thankful I was when I fluttered down to snatch some of the leaves for Bia while hoping she was still trapped within her sleep. I hastily heading back to my nest the moment I finished plucking around six leaves and held it tight with my talon, piercing the rain that just started to get even fiercer from the last time I left my hollow.

The cold winds crippled my flight, my wings were incredibly numb from the freezing rainwater relentlessly attacking my body. The tempest unleashed its wind of chaos, but fortunately I wasn't one of the victims of its conquest.

I consider myself very lucky the moment I touched the wooden-textured floor of my hollow after the seemingly endless flight within the arctic burn. Breathing a sigh of relief, I frantically shook my feather to cast away the lingering rainwater that trapped within my plumages, forming a puddle beneath my talon in the process. Pleased with my condition, I walked gingerly towards my nest and saw Bia was still sleeping, engraving a wise smile on my beak as I retrieved some food for Bia before she could digest her medicine.

I had to admit that I didn't know the kind of food she need to avoid when she is sick, especially fever – which in my opinion have no restriction on the food she can eat – nevertheless, I picked the least flavorful fruit for her meal, just in case if there is any restriction on the food she can eat.

With one big piece of star-fruit, I advanced myself towards the nest. Looking at her exquisite beauty can be pretty distracting, and to wake her – even it is for a greater cause – feels like a terrible decision, though, the hesitancy lasted only a couple of seconds and I nudged her gently. "Bia, love…"

She stirred yet remained sleep after my first trial, I repeated my action and whispered I her ear, "Bia… Bia…"

Her eyelids slowly revealed the hazel-colored orb that its vibrancy had been altered significantly, I smiled as she yawned and looked at me wearily. "Sorry, for waking you up again, but it's lunch, you better get something to eat." I said as I helped her to a sitting position.

"I'm not hungry…"

"That's not a valid excuse."

She whimpered and replied sheepishly, "But… I'm seriously not hungry…"

"You have to eat so you can recover. Just a little nibble?"

She nodded and took the star-fruit in my talon, nibbling only a small bite. The fruit barely reduced in the half when Bia stopped and rubbed her belly, "I'm full."

I groaned when I saw she only took five small nibbles on the fruit. "You should eat a lot more than that."

"I don't want to, I'm full, Frost."

"Just five more?"

She shook her head.

"Four more?"

"No."

"Three?"

"Frost… I can take it anymore… I'm so full."

I groaned internally as an idea conjured within my mind, "How about you eat three more bite, and I will reward you with a kiss."

I could her eyes widened as she contemplated the proposal I gave her, looking at the fruit before she locked her mesmerizing eyes with mine. I giggled within as I saw her lifted the fruit and with a face full of effort, taking another bite and gulped it hastily, "Can we make it two? The fruit has no taste…" She resumed her chew with her tongue sticking out, "Please?"

"Eh… no, deal is the deal, you need to eat three more bite, no more bargaining."

She issued a discomfort scowl – which I found cute – and taking her second bite. Her effort finally paid of as I saw her taking her last bite and rather hastily swallowed it and looked at me with a wide grin, "Okay, now I want my reward."

I chuckled when her impatient nature begged her reward like a chick in the Christmas time. I leaned closer and compensated a kiss on the cheek, which her later reaction was to frown.

"You cheat…"

"I didn't say where I will kiss you."

She groaned from being tricked and put her wings on her head, "If not for this headache, Frost. I will get my reward."

I simply couldn't help but giggle with her _threat_. I unfurled my wings and cradled her closer to my body, nuzzling her head lovingly. "I'm sure you will."

She snorted and assumed her grumpy expression as I hugged her tightly, feeling her feverous body radiated its unusual warmth to mine. I twisted my neck around her and kiss her beak gently, as the reward I promised before.

Her face lightened up as she closed her eyes and reciprocated the act, puffing her hot breath into my nostrils which also contained her natural, female essence and allowed me to know that the female bird on my wings was indeed my mate.

Bia is my mate.

The fact is an absolute source of happiness; I have the opportunity to love and be loved.

Bia pulled out from the kiss with her face cringed, "Uh… sorry… headache…"

I donned myself a smile and placed my head on her voluptuous breast, detecting her irregular heartbeat, body warmth as well as her silky, exquisite feathers pampered my senses. "Frost… what are you doing?"

I remained silent and rubbed my head to her breast, enjoying her natural perfume seeping deep into my olfactory senses and exhaled blissfully before I pulled my head, "I was checking your condition." I added, "And looks like you have recovered a bit; how are you feeling now?"

"Well… my headache is really persistent…"

"Lucky for you I have the cure for that." I said, taking the sizeable leaf and offered it to her. "Or… for the very least, they said it can help you."

"Where did you find it?"

"It doesn't matter now, isn't it?" I replied, passing the leaf to her talon. "I can assure you from the looks of it, this medicine will taste _really_ awful."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" She sternly looked at me.

"Well, a bit. Now come on, you need to rest, just one big chew and swallow, there, it's gone!"

"Easier to say than do…" She retrieved the leaf hesitantly, somehow acknowledged the result of stuffing the green substances into her beak. She sighed in defeat and chew the leaf hastily, grimaced as the – I assumed – bitter taste overloaded her savory senses.

"I know it's bad… just bear with it, after this you can sleep well…"

She shuddered as she swallowed the rest of the herb and replied, "If this is a prank, you are so cruel… much more than Tiago."

I sighed and replied, "If this is a prank, I would have been laughing right now."

The cessation of her reply was marked when she silently resumed chewing her medicine, occasionally sticking her tongue out after she finished swallowing a portion from the sizeable herb I gave her. Her efforts finally paid of as she hastily consumed the remaining part and smiled with her heart content akin to finishing a race and win.

Her smile was indeed infectious, and no matter how much restraint I put to myself, the gratification of even her tiniest speck of happiness; I would never trade anything for that smile.

I nuzzled her head as I positioned her back on the nest, bidding her a farewell for her journey into the realm of fantasy, "Now rest, okay?" All I said before I planted a kiss on her forehead.

Her eyelids dropped instantly, but within her transit to the land of dream, I heard her mumbled, "Thank you."

My heart fluttered into seventh heaven as I registered the sincerity hidden beneath those words, filling my heart with inexplicable delight and fuzzy warm emotions. I whispered on her ears as I kissed her cheek, "I love you, and I will take care of you."

I didn't really care if my words had ever reached her conscience that already annexed with the empress of sleep. The gratification itself was more than sufficient for me to gain glorious spark of happiness deep inside my heart, where the glow will sure remain for eternity; the love I professed solely for her.

Waves of relief swept over me like gushing tides splashed the coast relentlessly, the afterglow of my anxiety wore off, causing my disabled senses to acquire their proper function. The coldness hit me with a blast of winter's curse, trapping me within the cold embrace as the warm armor from my anxiety dismantled akin to a soldier experiencing pain after their painkiller subsided from their system thus the coldness now pierced into my quivering body.

My damp feathers were to blame as the catalyst for the chilling breeze amplified their power. I tucked my wings as my natural mechanism initiated their work to contain the last bit of warmth existed within my body. I sighed as I covered my body with my wings, barely acting a shield layer from the winter's spell that raging from the storm outside.

I sauntered my way towards the entrance to avoid waking up my sleeping mate from the occasional shivers and gritted beak I caused. The rain outside was indeed a mother nature unleashing her fury; given the spectacle of the maelstrom as if Thor and Zeus was involved in a fierce duel at the celestial sky, empowering the air current with their static field and mighty slam of Mjolnir and humbled mortals below could only watch in fear and astonishment.

My eyes darted towards the mighty thunder fork roaring with awesome decibels before another accelerated wind coexisted with the wind that blasted me over and over.

I covered my beak with my wings as the inevitably wind bursted forth from my nostrils.

 **AAACCCHHOOO…!**

I rubbed my nostrils with my wings and groaned as I detected another waves were approaching. The sneezing lasted four time – quite a record for me – and rather quickly I recalled Letícia's words.

One can consider me insane, but her words stung like a bullet ants' poison, causing me to laugh ceaselessly with my fate. Though given the circumstances as I looked back at the sleeping angel, I didn't really mind the altered fate I had to suffer from helping the one I love.

I continued to chuckle as I retrieved one fine-sized mango and devoured it as I watched the tempest raging on.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello again. It's been a while since I updated my story. Real life really take my time for this, but now I will try to make this little hobby of mine a little bit of priority. It's started to become a habit for me to release one chapter per month, and the story itself probably isn't as worth as it seems, but I'll leave to you all to judge.**

 **Also please:**

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	6. Title as Mates: Part 2

**Chapter 6**  
 **Title as Mates: Part 2**

~Beatriz~

If I ever ask anyone about sickness, the majority of it probably seeks to avoid such circumstances (except if you have such weird things about illness and pain… okay… probably too much absurd mystery novels) and that also included me. I never really liked getting myself sick, for the main reason it rendered me helpless to do anything on my own (thought I am sure no one like getting sick, aside from the fact that some of you might want to get one in purpose to skip school… or work…). Yes, I am completely aware about this _biological disturbance_ is somewhat unavoidable for every single organism in this planet (maybe that's not applicable for viruses and some microorganisms), yet again, I never liked the fact that I can be easily doom in that helpless situation.

It didn't help when I recalled the fragments of nightmare back then when I was spending summer in Rio, the time when I also got myself sick from the unstable weather that occupies Rio (thanks global warming!), an apparition manifested from my deepest fear; loneliness.

I recalled lucidly being awaken in the dim room where its walls made from the black, crystalline obsidian stone. The spell of silence was casted upon the room where the floor was icy cold, and I was there, struggling to get back on my feet before scrutinized the alien surrounding. The terrorizing fact inflicted deep into my soul as I realized I was alone in within the darkness, as no sole clues seems to point the existences of living being other than me.

I could see black fingers of rotten tree sprouting outside the crystal clear window, but unable to break the material forcing me to dwell deeper into the darkness and looked for explanation.

"Mom? Dad? Carla? Tiago? Frost?" I remember calling their names as I descended into darkness, but the only reply was the distorted echo of my voice.

My tentative steps were halted as I felt the darkness thickened suddenly with a low disembodied whispering reverberated through my eardrum. I rotated my head and saw the pitch blackness already obscured my path, camouflaging every direction with the black display that started to overwhelmed my nerves; and it did, sending me a blast of immense vertigo.

I shook my head as my heartbeat galloped rapidly, trying to escape the duskiness that slowly dissipated my focus. The whispering voices then intensified before they let the silence be the rightful king, empowering the eerie atmosphere of the alien world.

And a brief thunderous boom was the catalyst I required to scream my heart out and flapped my wings as fast as I can.

My coordination was impaired thanks to the raging headache that occupied my head, and to my horror when I realized my wings' feathers had disintegrated into thin air, hurling me back into the cold floor for darkness to consume.

I never believed in superstitious and ghost (even after reading that _ghost, goblins and ghoulish figure_ book did give me a little chill) but that time was my logical side eclipsed under the umbra of my fear, and no one was around to help me.

I was all alone.

The whispering voices resumed as I groaned from the pain after my freefall, their words were incomprehensible, almost like hearing an incantation from the lost civilization during their ritual. Without a second thought, I quickly lifted myself from the freezing surface and rushed to run before the world around me was nothing than a blackness, a void, and no matter how fast, how I tried to run, the feeling of staying in one place never left me.

Hope had left me; fear had consumed me; sanity had lost me; specters of nightmare rejoice upon their conquest.

And I was there, crying…

…crying for my fate.

…crying for I will face the Grim reaper alone.

…crying for I trapped under the solitude of darkness…

Before a burst of sunbeam welcomed me back into the real world with a familiar male voice singing while soothing me:

 _Moonbeams and Starlight, magical twilight.  
The warmest ray, hear it whispering your name.  
Rainbows at midnight, sparkling night sky.  
Don't go away,  
Stay another day…_

He continued to hum the tunes as he caressed my head, an act of affection that manage to exorcise specters of nightmares that once possessed my mind. I opened my eyes and saw him looked at me with a concerned face, thought, it didn't last very long as I hastily wrapped my wings and cried my heart out.

He hugged me back and whispered, "Hey it's okay… it's just a bad dream." He caressed my back and nuzzled my head, "It's not real."

His words failed to overcome shards of fear from the fragments of my nightmare; I even recalled my jarring wings as I tried to convince myself with his words.

He stayed there, letting me stained his plumages, only tightened his grip to unleash the warmth of his love and let me know he was there for me, and it succeeded to dissipate my fear into mere memories.

"You okay?" He asked as my sobbing receded.

I could only nod weakly, not yet letting go of him.

"Do you… want to talk about it?"

I shook my head this time, fearing if recalling those memories will inflict more damage me.

"Okay." He said patiently, placing his wings on my head, "Seems like you are still burning up… how do you feel?"

"Hurt… afraid…" I replied with a fragile voice.

He sighed, leveling his gaze with mine, "Hey… it's okay… it's all over now."

I went into silence (you wish Frost… You just don't know how mentally degenerating the experience is…), trying to calm myself by burying my face onto his chest, smelling his natural aroma to remind me that this one was no more a mirage of my nightmare, but a reality where I wasn't alone.

I am not alone, and I've never been.

"Maybe Tulio have something to help you." He said as he unfurled his wings and prepared to take a flight, "Stay here for a bit… I'll be back soon."

"NO! please… don't leave me alone…" I said, holding him tighter, "Please… don't leave me alone again…"

I could detect a frown on his face before he replied, "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? Seems like something is really bothering your mind right now?"

I reluctantly shook my head, "Just… stay with me…"

"Okay, Beatriz. I'm staying." He said lovingly.

I donned myself a smile as he placed me back on my "bed" and sighed, "You shouldn't have stayed up that late…"

"What… happened?" I asked with a hoarse voice (and it makes me so helpless… gah…).

"Well," He shrugged, "I don't exactly know what happened, but when we watched that movie last night, you just seemed so quiet… and when I checked what happened to you, it turned out you have a fever."

"Oh…"

"I probably took responsible for this too…" He said sheepishly, "If I wasn't so eager to watch that movie, you probably won't end up here."

I placed my wing on his face and replied, "It's the weather to blame… I usually get… sick… when the weather… uuhhh." I moaned in pain as my headache flaring up.

He sighed, "You know… I think it would be better if I just call Tulio so he can give you something to help you."

With a wing on my head, I stated, "I'm… just… don't leave me alone… I'm afraid…"

"Nightmares?"

I issued a double nod.

"Want to talk about it?"

Again, I shook my head reluctantly, "I don't know… I don't want to remember it again…"

"Maybe it will go away if you talk it with someone." He then playfully observed every corner of the room before looking back at me, "And looks like I am your only options."

I chuckled, "Well…"

I began to reminisce the nightmare that recently put my soul into restlessness, retelling every details on how I was bizarrely awakened within the dark room with no one else. I vividly recalled the adrenaline rush I got when I realized something was hunting for me, something that hidden within the shadow, only time will tell when it will leap upon me. My tears welled up when I remembered the cold solitude as I run endlessly inside the ethereal darkness, a void.

He wiped my tears and embraced me tightly, addressing his apology for making me remember something I wanted to forget. My face was buried onto his chest as I heard him uttered, "Bia, I'm sorry…"

"I'm sorry… it must be very unpleasant, but…" He lifted my stained face, kissing my forehead before adding, "You are not alone… I'm here… next to you."

My stomach had butterflies as I registered his words, filling my mind if utmost serenity from the spell of nightmare finally lifted from me. I donned myself a smile, a sincere smile when I felt another kiss on my cheek.

A creak from the main door's hinges soon heard as a middle-aged Brazilian ornithologist entered the room, "Hello there, Bia, Frost." Tulio greeted us as he put his clipboard to the table, "Feeling any better?"

Frost motioned his wings on my head with a squawk (which is actually he said "Not good.") to emphasis my lingering headache. Tulio then nodded (although, I am not sure if he understood Frost or not), "I will give you some medicine to help you sleep." He hummed a Samba tune I heard from the carnival as he went to the medicine cabinet.

Hearing the word 'sleep' lashed me another anxiety. I began to tremble violently with the prospect of returning back into my nightmare. Frost noticed my condition and asked, "You okay sweetheart?"

I gave him no reply and just staring at the possibilities of dreading nightmare. Sleep was no longer restorative as it should be. Frost patiently repeated his questions, "Bia… you okay?"

Snapped out of my trance, I replied, "No, I am not okay… I don't want to sleep again…"

He cocked his head, "But you need to sleep to recover, right?"

"I don't want to go back there…"

His eyes widened as he – I assumed – realized the reasons of my actions and words, "Oh…"

"I don't want to go back there… please don't make me go there…" I repeated in horror.

He scratched his nape with his talon, caressing my head with his wings, "Okay… okay… I get it…"

"If I sleep with you, will it chase away the nightmare?" He offered after ruminating for a while.

I don't know to be honest, but feeling his warmth might decrease the chance of my next dream will be another nightmare; and for that, I bobbed my head, "It might work."

He beamed as he positioned himself next to me, unfurling his wing for me to snuggle with his body in the gap between his wing and body.

I exhaled one exhilarated sigh as his warmth began to seep into my body, knowing that his presence was near. My tranquil mind allowed me to regain my basic abilities and recalled one thing I was going to ask, "Frost?"

"Yeah?"

"When I woke up… why did you sing that song?"

He covered his face ashamedly and before answered, "It was meant to calm you… because I heard your Mom sang that for you." He sighed in defeat and resumed, "And it seemed, what I did was waking you up."

His sincere intention made the butterflies in my stomach fluttered faster, "I rather hear your off-tune voice than remained in that nightmare to be honest."

"Thank you… I'm going to take that as a sarcasm masked as a compliment."

I chortled, tickled with my own unintended joke.

Tulio then reappeared around one minute since our last conversation with a bottle of medicine in his hand. I saw him pour the orange-colored liquid to a measuring spoon before he passed it down to my beak, "Here it is."

I gladly swallowed the – turns out it also orange-flavored – medicine before squawking as a sign of my gratitude towards him. Tulio gave me a warm smile as he patted my head softly, "You two reminds me a lot of your parents, Bia."

I twisted my neck and saw Frost had taken a head start into the realm of slumber; my mind baffled on just how fast he fell asleep.

"He must be so tired after staying awake the whole night…" Tulio said, "Looks like he will be a good mate for you." He exited the room and let me alone, pondering with my heart glowed intensely.

He slept like a log, oblivious to my watchful eyes.

 _Staying up all night just for me, typical you, Frost._ I mused as I gazed up at the ceilings. _You'd always been such a fool; you know that?_

I pecked his cheek gently, resulting a sweet smile manifested on his face, _At least I know one thing._

I chuckled internally, looking at his scar. _I know you love me until you want to sacrifice anything to me… but…_

My smile distorted into a frown at the thought, recalling the feeling of trapped within aloofness. I whispered, "Promise me…"

"Promise me that you will never leave me alone, even it was another sacrifice you did for me."

"I need you, Frost. Don't you ever leave me."

* * *

My headache had been cleared when my consciousness returned back into reality, slowly restoring my abilities as my brain completed to do a cold boot. The blurry vision didn't last long after I rubbed my weary eyes with my wings and realized my mate wasn't on our nest.

I yawned briefly before I could feel a cool breeze ruffled me plumages, reminded me of the recent rain that happened before I escaped into the realm of slumbers. My eyes rapidly examined the blackened room – thanks to the gloomy atmosphere outside – trying to spot my mate, but to no avail, there wasn't a sole clue about his presence.

I vaguely recalled when he offered me an herb-like medicine, which I assumed was the reason why my headache cleared in an amazing rate compared to my usual recovery speed (which usually takes one to two days).

"Frost?" I whispered, waiting for his response. "Frost?"

My voice echoed through the seemingly empty hollow as a gust of freezing winds causing me to shiver. "Frost? Where are you?" I said in desperation.

Trying to calm my nerves isn't easy when my emotion is incredibly unstable. I remembered how exaggerated my actions this morning when I realized Frost wasn't anywhere in the hollow, and I learned a fact he promised this morning, that he will never leave me.

I believe his words, his sincerity dissipated the clouds of doubt that once raging on my head. And to confirm it, I finally saw him perching on the entrance of our hollow in a gargoyle-esque position and – I assumed – staring at the gray skies that slowly thinned.

I took a slow step towards him before I stumbled upon a collection of leaves with a puddle of rainwater beneath it. I lifted the plant for further examination and realized it was the one he gave me to ease my headache (documented for future usage). The state of the plant, however, made me cringe.

I left the plant on the floor and rushed towards Frost, glimpsed over his darker shades of blue than the rest of his body, confirming my suspicion about how he acquired the herbs in the first place. Reluctantly, however, I placed my wings on his forehead to fill the last piece of the mental puzzle I was trying to solve, but his temperature was thankfully normal.

I let myself let out a sigh of relief, but my soul still restless from his recklessness.

And it also gave me butterflies in my stomach.

My feelings were volatile: I want to smile as bright as the sun, but at the same time, I also want to dig myself a hole as in Armageddon will soon commence.

His actions make me happy, because I know I have someone that look up after me, a bird that won't let me alone in the pitch freezing blackness; a bird that does not hesitate to tell the world I am his mate, and he loves me deeply as deep as the Mariana trench.

But at the same time, I'm afraid. I'm afraid his actions; his sacrifices he has done to me will one day take him away from me. I know he will even dare to trade place with me if I stumbled upon hell, but he didn't know that I don't want that.

I want him, as my mate, to cheer our limited together.

He is my mate, I love him. Oh I love him so much…

I opened my eyes as I realized I had involuntary closed them, feeling the tears tempted to burst out from the incompatible emotions that was raging on my heart. I exhaled on sharp breath before I turned my eyes into the masculine figure of my mate, still closing his eyes.

I rested my head on his nape, ruminating about the title we just recently gave each other, a title as mates.

 _He is your mate._

I know.

 _And you finally stepped into that decision?_

It bounds to happen anyway.

 _But it can be regretful…_

I'm aware of that.

 _And you don't regret it?_

I don't know… I'm still afraid.

 _He will leave you?_

Yeah.

 _But you know he loves you, right?_

Yes.

 _Do you love him?_

Of course.

 _It is what truly matters._

"But what if…"

I want to believe it, the voices from my heart.

But the series of 'what if', his actions…

I can't escape from the prison of algorithm and logic.

* * *

I snapped out of my trance when I felt his neck moved slightly, signifying his arrival back into the real world. The intrusion, however, did not make me remove my head from his nape, instead, I rubbed it lovingly with his soft, messy feathers of his neck.

I cooed as I felt his beak nuzzled my head, "So the princess finally awake?"

"I am no longer a princess." I replied, "I am a queen; your queen."

"Aw… thanks a lot, love." He yawned before added, "I take it your headache finally subside?"

"Yes, I can no longer feel that annoying throb in my skull, and… Frost?"

"Mmhmm?"

"We need to talk, about something."

He cocked his head before replied, "Wait…"

His face lit up and his beak beamed widely, "You… have eggs?"

"No." I said with my face flushed red, "At least, not yet…"

"Oh." His smile dimmed, "So what is it?"

"I want you to answer it honestly." I stated as I reached for the abandoned plant earlier, "Where did you find this plant?"

His talon nervously scratched his nape, "Why did you ask that… I don't think it's…"

"Please, Frost."

He sighed, "Healer's hollow."

"But that is at least seven trees from here… and it was raining."

"It's just a little rain… you don't have to worry about that."

I shook my head, "You don't need to lie to me… I heard the thunder, and judging by your damp feathers, it must be raining heavily."

"No…"

"Do I need to include the approximation on how long I slept to prove my point?" I countered, "Please be honest with me."

"Why did you stupidly fly in the rain? You know you can get sick or worse, like that one in Rio."

"Okay, okay…" He stated before admitted, "I can't stand seeing you writhing in pain, so I think it would be best if I just find something to help you."

"The rain wasn't really strong…" He paused briefly before resumed, "You know… you don't really have to worry about-"

"BUT I SHOULD!" I shouted, "I SHOULD WORRY ABOUT YOU!"

"You don't have to yell; you know that?" He snarled and his eyes narrowed, "I can hear."

My breathing became rapid for my unstable emotions transformed into the inexorable anger, "YOU ARE MY MATE FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I SHOULD HAVE WORRIED ABOUT YOU."

"I should have…" I said softly, having the anger evaporated in all of the sudden.

We stood there in frigid silence before Frost decided to break the ice, "Done yelling?"

I only huffed, avoiding his eye contact that could be a hostile gaze – but I never know.

"Bia." He started, "I am doing this for you."

"I love you, I love you so much."

"I can't stand seeing you in pain, it aches me, it tears me apart."

"But that's not a reason to act reckless!" I replied with a slight hostility, still avoiding eye contact with him, "You are my mate… and you know I love you…"

"I don't want to lose you… especially because of me."

My tears welled up in an instant regret washed over me, the reason of this unnecessary argument was utterly foolish. Still, I tried to suck up the heavy waters that occasionally leaked from my eyes.

He seemed to notice my tears when his wings lifted my face; I finally saw his face full of hurt and worry, "Even if I was doing this for you?"

"I don't accept any reason."

"But-"

"I. Don't. Accept. Any. Reason." I emphasized each words with a tap of my wing.

"Okay." He muttered gently.

The silence once more blanketed the room, only the ambience from the outside was the source of noise, but I believed my sense of hearing has been muted temporary until he spoke up. "Bia."

I averted my gaze on the ground, not wanting to hear nor see any more of his reasons.

Suddenly, I felt his wings grasped my body, causing my gaze to be automatically facing him.

Our beaks touched, in one passionate kiss.

My shock rapidly replaced with ecstasy, a form of his – maybe our – love in a simple, yet powerful blast.

My anger vanished, my clouds of doubt and uncertain emotions dissipated as we pulled out of each other and relishing each other's love remains within our respective beaks.

"Bia."

Unable to avert my gaze this time, I locked my eyes with his. "I love you. I just want you to have a peaceful sleep without worry about anything."

"You know I love you too… and we are mates." I replied, "And mates worry for each other."

"Please promise me you won't be reckless, in any reason."

"I can't promise you." He said, causing fear to occupy my heart, "But I will try my best."

"You better try your damn best, Frost." I threatened as I crumpled down to his chest, "Or I will find you and rip you apart."

"Doesn't that means you are also a danger for me?"

Maybe I was being paranoid, maybe I was being a drama queen, but his actions are not without consequences.

And I fear the worst of all…

* * *

 **A\N: This might take longer than it seems, I tell you why, maybe because I was losing this vibe in Rio. But here it is, I hate to break it into more parts than I just had.**

 **Regarding Winter's Summer, yes, I am going to continue it, in fact, the script was being written the moment you read this Author's note (if you read it that is).**

 **anyway, please review to save a writer.**

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	7. Icarus Dive

**Chapter 7**  
 **Icarus Dive**

Beatriz~

My mood hadn't yet improved since the fight I had with Frost a few hours ago – even after Frost insisted that he got over it and understood my rather volatile emotion, assuring me that his love for me remain unscathed. The clouds had been so persisting today, only allowing the sunbeam to heat the earth below for a few hours before it hid the golden beam back under the veil of the storm.

The atmosphere was dull and chilling for the rest of the day. I set myself at the entrance of our hollow, waiting my mate to get back in his hunt for our dinner. The somewhat gloomy atmosphere depicted my emotions: unstable, uncertain, and mostly confused on how I should properly react with Frost's action in his endeavor to cure me. I don't know if I should be happy to know that I had chosen the right bird that willing to spend his time and effort for me; or I should be angry for his actions were uncalculated and might end up in much dire consequences.

Love… is a weird paradox. The epitome of love itself is selflessness; it seeks to give happiness for the person it treasures, even when it demands a higher sacrifice, the compliance to accept that its partner's happiness is more important is somewhat the true nature of love itself.

But on the other hand, love itself is not a one-way affection stream, but rather, reciprocation. I love Frost as much as he loves me, and seeing him exposed himself under the rain looking for something to help me without thinking about himself inflicted a deep chasm of concern. Surely though that I wanted the best for him, he is not my shield, not my protector… he is the bird that I am more than proud to call him as my mate.

These two contradictory emotions are the reason I was set ablaze earlier; I want to thank him for loving me as he should have, but surely there is some better way he can show his love for me rather than hurling himself into the tempest. Yet perhaps in that condition, he wasn't left with too much options, and his actions – which either triggered on purpose or involuntary – weren't something I believe completely uncalculated.

I sighed, this rather new insight overwhelmed my body and soul. The argument was merely a tiny fraction of the possible more fights and arguments we will have in the future. The prospect didn't actually make me feel any better on how to react with this… especially when we will have a family sooner or later.

This sense of foreboding somehow twisted my gut.

A shadow soon appeared in the distance, breaking my train of thought as it appeared closer towards our hollow. I could see a mound of bright-colored _acerola_ berries taunting my empty stomach as I recalled the burst of sweet flavor it could bring.

"Sorry it took longer than it should, the rain somehow changed how the jungle look like." Frost stated as he collected the discarded berries and threw it into a neat mound next to me.

"Not a regular dinner, I see." I said, taking one of the berries and pinched the red orb; the promising sweet taste soon overloaded my savory senses. "What's the occasion?"

"Do we really need an occasion to have a… different dinner?" Frost cocked his eyebrows and snickered, "I've grown tired of the limited numbers of food we can eat here in the jungle. I miss the pancake."

"Oh wow, Frost; I never know you are really into human food." I chomped another berries and swallowed it with a satisfying gulp. "But perhaps, we are on the same boat."

"Yeah." That was his last response that terminated our chatting session, welcoming the silence to host the next moment of our dinner. I didn't know how – or maybe, what – to do to admonish the awkward silence between us, considering Frost mostly staring at the black sky with no stars – thanks to the cloud – as if he was trying to spot something uncanny in the seemingly normal night.

Or perhaps… there was something else.

My chest tightened when I the argument resurfaced, I know he had already told me that _that_ argument didn't change anything, any aspect or damaging the love he had for me, but somehow, his silent action spoke louder than his words.

I hung my head, trying to cope with the fact that he probably had a different view about me now. I silently took the last piece of the berries where our talon touched together, "Oh… Sorry, you can have the last one." I said with the most even voice I could muster.

"You can have it, I'm not that hungry. Just want to freshen my beak." He offered the berry to me. "I wish I can see the star tonight."

I reluctantly accepted his offer and chewed the berries while listening to his words, "I really want to show my Mom and Dad something."

"Frost, look… I'm sorry about ear-"

He raised his eyebrows and asked, "What do you mean?"

"I know you're probably upset because of our fight, it's-"

I didn't finish my sentence when he pulled me closer to his embrace and whispered, "I'm not mad at you; I can't be mad at you." He nuzzled my head, "I just want to tell my parents that I have a mate now, a loving and caring mate."

"When I told you that I love you, Beatriz, I mean it. Hm?" He rested his head on my head.

"What did I do to deserve you?" I asked softly, enjoying his warmth encompassing me.

"You've changed my life, Bia. You give me a chance to love and be loved. If you don't deserve me, no other birds will."

All of my negative emotions had evaporated when the radiance of his love reached my heart. I was sure it beat faster than it normally did, akin to the first time I heard him confess his love for me when we were little. I couldn't help but to beam and close my eyes, to enjoy him, my mate, pampering me with a large dose of his selfless love to me.

Perhaps I should take a note or two about the necessities of fights and arguments within a relationship (while I am surely didn't want it happen out of control) to test the durability of it and in the end, reaffirmation to reinforce the already unbreakable chain.

I recalled how intense our kiss and love when we succumbed ourselves into each other embrace, to become one flesh reunited for eternity.

And the only thing I could remember that night, was simply pure bliss.

* * *

My Mom always told me that pregnancies are something incredibly unpredictable. It is usually happened in a way you don't exactly expected. Some may wait for eternity to have their own, the yearning to have their own offsprings, yet never really been blessed with; the other might never want an offspring in their life, yet they are given with it.

It's almost like a bad Korean drama when it comes to this (though more exaggerated, because… drama) pregnancies case. In that dramas, pregnancies have always been a much simpler concept to grasp; you have sex with someone and in the next morning, you got yourself pregnant with a one-hundred percent accuracy.

Either the baby will survive or not is going to be another story, because it wasn't always the result of reciprocated love, but mostly, accidental sex (drunken, aphrodisiac, or in some certain case, rape) and whatnot.

However, if one accepts to keep the baby, the task of taking care of them have always been depicted as something not so arduous to do; but according to Uncle Rafael testimonial – or rather, how I looked upon his family – the reality and fantasy are just the exact opposite.

Was I ready? To be honest, I wasn't sure. But knowing I'd been spending time with Frost doing what _mates should have been doing_ , I know that like it or not, I should be ready when it comes to me eventually.

But I didn't know it happened _that_ soon.

According to the fact, pregnancies rate spans from 30% to 95% to all the animal kingdom with macaw species being the average fertility but low survivability with the chicks (especially my species and hybrids; I'm not sure about hybrids, but my species _rarity_ was to blame for this fact).

I had seen some other peers that I had struggling to have their own progenies soon, but never exactly bore any result or simply the rather low survivability rate (this is a scientific data, I know it should not be confused with the random chance and coincidence of the nature itself) was to blame for it. Thankfully enough, I've never seen someone carried fertile eggs without her proper mate – the 'mates for life' thing in macaw's society – but certainly, the case of some birds carried eggs after their first intercourse is extremely rare.

It happened to me nonetheless…

When I woke up that morning, I felt something different within my body. There was an aching in my belly when I moved myself in some certain directions. I couldn't describe perfectly what really happened with my body, but for the most of all, I could feel a solid object inside it as I stirred from my position, not to mention the odd feeling of lightheaded and my irregular heartbeat.

Frost was sleeping upwards with his beak mumbling an incomprehensive clause within his sleep – which reminded of my Dad's habit of snoring. I silently rose from my slumber, pressing my wings around my belly to inspect the bizarre sensation I was having.

My eyes widened in shock as I recognize the hard object inside my stomach, though I wasn't really sure just yet, I couldn't help but to smile as bright as the sun for the fact that I was carrying eggs.

I was carrying my own progenies.

I was euphoric to wake Frost up and told him the news, but considering that this might be a false alarm from my lack of experience in carrying, I planned to tell him after I am one-hundred percent sure that I was indeed carrying eggs.

The feeling, however, couldn't be repressed. My skin was tingling and my insides were twisting in a form of my utmost happiness. I was lucky, to be blessed with my own chicks sooner than I had predicted, but at the same time, I was nervous about the future I might endure.

This time was something for real that all the things I'd learned and heard about raising chicks will come to use. I wasn't sure if I able to do it the way my Mom and Dad had done to me (which in my opinion, was the best parenting method I could imprint with), but the happiness and joy from knowing I will soon have little chicks on my own dismissed the concerned thought quickly.

I couldn't contain my smile, even so after Frost was confused with my sudden happiness, "Uh… Bia… Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I'm very well, thank you!" I answered happily, humming a random tone without even my initial purpose to do so.

"You seems so happy…?" He inquired once more.

"I will tell you later, meanwhile I'm going to-"

" _Bom dia, irmã!_ " Tiago swooped in all of the sudden without precaution, I swear I could get a heart attack if he kept popping out of nowhere, " _e meu cunhado também._ " **[Good morning, sis!], [And my brother in law too.]**

"You've been visiting me regularly lately." I said, recovering from the preliminary shock of his abrupt appearance, "I take it you are going to do something with Frost, _again_."

He shot Frost a stern glare. "You did tell her did you?"

Defensively, Frost replied, "Wait what? No, I didn't!"

"Then how she…oh right, I'm not going to question you." Tiago replied, I'm willing to bet that he was cursing me as an egghead within.

Frost snickered, "So, did you have a plan?"

Tiago moaned, "Can we talk somewhere else please? This bird will not let me live if she finds out I am trying to woo a girl... Cheese and sprinkles…"

I chortled and quipped, "Perhaps you should start with regurgitating for her, Tiago. Girls will find that sweet."

"Re… re what? Even as an adult, Bia. I'm still baffled with your vocabulary list." He scratched his head, "And see! This is exactly what I was talking about!"

"You'll live little bro, you'll live."

He groaned and pulled Frost out of the hollow who was still chewing his breakfast. "Oi oi! At least let me swallow why don't you?!" Frost was comically choked with food and greedily slurped a bountiful of water. "What's with the haste?"

"You know why!" I swear I could see Tiago's face turned bright red as he pushed Frost from our hollow.

"I'll be back before sundown! And oh! I will get you lunch!" Frost exclaimed mid-way before I saw his figure being consumed with the horizon.

I rubbed my belly softly and whispered, "Do you feel comfortable there? Don't worry, Mommy's here."

"Mommy's here."

* * *

~Tiago~

Recently, there had been something new happened within my life, the previous so called 'love' I always stated as something unimportant had somehow assaulted me with full barrage of their force when my eyes fell upon a beautiful creature.

It was unexpected to be honest, when my chest just suddenly filled with strange emotions that I couldn't describe perfectly how. It was very unlikely coincidence when I stopped by to take some break after Dad showed me the way how I will lead the tribe one day (I know he just want to spend more time with Mom and Lía) when I couldn't cast away my gaze from her bright, crimson red plumages as she elegantly devoured the fruit.

I'd tried to talk with her, but the outcome wasn't exactly the best impression I wanted her to know about me. And so, asking someone who got the experience with girls might be work just fine.

Problem is, no one will ever let me live if I told them that I fell in love with a scarlet macaw.

This leads to the simplest way I could do, asking for a help from a bird I know how to seal his beak: Frost. The fact that he had the experience with my sister for like ten years made me certain that he must had something that can help me, a secret way or some sort of things he had done to my sister.

I never really think this far, knowing that everything around me had been changed for the last few years. Time cascades like a river with no end, and it just too overwhelming sometimes to learn that once I was trying to steal Bia's book as a prank, now she is a mate of her childhood sweetheart.

Surely enough, they must had done something to maintain such level of romance and love all the way.

Frost told me that he didn't _know_ exactly how to court a girl (and I got my hopes high that he can at least provide me something…) all he said was he just showed his love for Bia and that was it.

It irked me to fathom that even someone like Frost is clueless on how to incept a relationship (I forgot his extremely shy personality), but he assured me that if I am serious, a way will come to me _eventually_.

But _eventually_ wasn't good enough for me.

Amanda was a nice bird to get know to, she wasn't shy, but not exactly aggressive either. Starting a conversation with her wasn't exactly an awkward thing to do, but to maintain the conversation from leaning into that awkward level, does. I had tried to spend more time with her, but it seemed that all the things I did was just scaring her away, this leads me frustrating to learn about this.

I'd tried, believe me, to liberate myself from this 'love', yet every time I blink my eyes, I could saw her figure in the distance for a couple of seconds. And the more I saw how lucky Frost and Bia to love each other, the more this urge suffocating me.

Frost had been so patient to help me with some little things, he always told me that I just need to let it out, be myself, and she will come around; it will be much easier if you don't have a nervous wreck when you do it.

But steadily, we had make some progress. Amanda had been spending more time with me, though I didn't yet have the gut to ask her for dinner or some sort, it at least giving me some hopes that I could end up like Frost; with a family I could love for.

This is exactly why I was rushing myself to wake up as early as I could and flew straight to meet my _cunhado_.

Honestly, I never know if they had been mates _mates_ or not. At some point they act like _how mates should have act_ , while some other time, I could see an invisible barrier between them.

But knowing them, and not to mention their testimonial of love for the last ten years, I would not place any doubt that this will escalate into something bad; I can't think of anything else that might put them apart.

I could notice that Frost wasn't exactly content after I dragged out him from his hollow. I feel guilty to take him from his family in such early morning, and for that alone I wasn't trying to push my luck.

Frost might not be assertive, but I do know that deep within, he had a beast locked down, and I wasn't planning to unleash that beast upon me.

"So… Frost, did you have any plan for today?"

"Wait what? Since when I become the planner?" He shook his head, "You should start doing this on your own, Tiago. I mean, Amanda doesn't seem so hard to approach, and by my standards, you've exceeded my skills already."

"Believe me, I've tried. Having you around make me sure that I am doing the right thing, since, you know, ten years with Bia?"

His beak arched upwards before it burst in a glorious laugh, "Since when you become this… attached to love, Tiago. You always told me that this sort of things is mushy."

"I grew up, that's why." I rolled my eyes, "Come on, help a bird out!"

" _Claro, irmão. Vamos._ " He flapped his wings faster, achieving his trademark fast flying. **[Okay, brother. Come on.]**

"That's _Cunhado_ for now, Frost. You are my sister's mate… that gave me a question… did you guys…?"

"Oh, yeah, we did."

"So you are now officially her mate, huh? Expecting chicks soon?"

He situated himself on the branch beneath us, "Well, I won't say that I'm one-hundred percent sure that I'm ready for chicks… you know me… I never have a Dad; how can you expect someone like me to become a Dad?"

"Well… I'm sure you are going to be a great Dad." I assured him, "Besides, you successfully maintain a relationship with Bia for that long, I bet taking care of chicks is a piece of cake for you."

"There's nothing like a piece of cake in raising chicks, Tiago. This job is just too important, and failure is not an option." He craned his neck to inspect something beneath the dense jungle foliage.

I could only nod and replied, "Yeah, one day, Frost. One day I hope I can understand just the way you think."

"You will, trust me. In fact, your lover is there eating her breakfast." He motioned his wings towards the greenery in front of us, "Go greet her."

"Huh? Oh… What should I talk to her?"

"Holy feathers! Didn't we talk about this yester… two days ago?" He slapped his wings to his face, "Okay, okay. I'm trying to understand you here."

"Try to say good morning, maybe ask about good breakfast?"

"That sounds… ridiculous." I groaned, "I mean, why should I ask her about food?"

"In retrospect, you are right… Well, did you get any information about what does she like? Or what kind things you both have in common? Like I know that Bia likes to explore and research random stuff."

"I just know that she likes mangos."

"Okay… that's very informative…" Frost said sarcastically, "You know what? Just go."

"What?" I was taken aback when he suddenly glided towards Amanda, "Excuse me, lass. I believe someone here wants to talk with you." He then motioned his wing towards me, "He is my _cunhado_ , I bet you know him already?"

Amanda looked baffled with Frost's sudden entrance, but replied nonetheless, "Tiago, _não_?"

I too, flew closer towards him with a clenched beak and awkward smile, " _Oi Amanda, está tudo bem?_ " **[Hi Amanda, how's everything going?]**

I swear I saw Frost chuckled as he withdrew himself to search for breakfast (excuse, I am completely aware), serving me to walk on thin ice. I don't know if I should thank him for initiating this act, or should I groan in protest for the result itself wasn't exactly the one I wanted.

"I'm fine, Tiago." She replied me smoothly, "What do you want to talk about? Seems like something important?"

"Eh… I… um…" I exhaled, "I was looking for the best mango?" I continued with a reluctant voice, "Yeah, did you know where I can find the best mango here?"

She seemed amused and answered, "That's not what you want to ask me, is it not?"

I smiled weakly, "Yeah… actually…"

Her silky smooth voice then reassured me, "I will answer if you ask." She was somehow aware my very purpose to meet her was to ask her out.

I shook my head, arched my chest forward and tried to look as masculine as I could before I asked, "Do you have any plan tonight?"

"No, I don't think I had any plan tonight." She replied in a somewhat sultry voice, "Why?"

Sometimes, I want to dig a hole, fill myself with dirt, moss and dried leaves to bury myself so no one will able to see the embarrassment that burning hot in my body. She obviously tried to tease me. "I… I want to ask you out for tonight… you know… dinner and stuff."

"Did you really just asking me out?"

 _Cristo! Did she need to torture me like this?_

"Yes."

"You do realize that we are a different, right?"

I groaned, "You know… I'll just take that as a no." I diverted my gaze in defeat.

"But I didn't say no." Now her voice was full of tiny chuckle, "Oh Tiago! Aren't you so tense?"

My cheeks were red as red as a scarlet macaw's plumages from the fire of embarrassment that engulfed me from her teasing. I never know Amanda was such a teaser, she managed to make me blush and stammer more than everyone else had ever done to me. This, however, attracted me more to her, because in my eyes, she was charming.

"So… is that a yes?"

" _Sim, Tiago._ " She beamed a teasing smile.

"Great! I will… we will meet here again? I will have everything planned for tonight." I said confidently this time.

"Surprise me." She pecked my cheek which made me blush even redder than before.

"Auh… Okay. I… uh… I need to get it-"

"Amanda! Where've you been?" A male voice resonated from the jungle foliage before an older figure of a scarlet macaw appeared, "There you are, what are you doing there?"

I tightened my beak, " _Quem é_?" I asked her. **[Who is that?]**

" _Ele é meu irmão, Jose_." She explained, "And I need to get going. Will meet you here tonight, _não_? _Espera-me irmão!_ " She exclaimed as she flew towards her brother. **[He is my brother, Jose], [Wait me, brother!]**

My insides were intertwining and my heart galloping faster than ever. The tingling sensation was warm and addictive inside me; pure euphoric was probably the best description I could use. I did a little dance of happiness while chanted, "I have a date! I have a date!" Before I felt a nudge in my back.

My bubble of happiness was dispersed instantly as humiliation started to form when I heard giggles, "I take it everything went well, eh, _cunhado_?"

I breathed a sigh of relief as Frost's familiar voice reached my ears, "You scared me."

"Scared of what?" He asked, "Someone found you dancing and singing like a crazed bird?"

"Ha ha ha, very funny, Frost." I replied sarcastically, "But really… I feel funny now."

"Let me guess; you feel ticklish on the skin, can't resist to smile, somehow you also feel your body is lighter than usual and right now, you imagined about a romantic kiss with her." He rolled his eyes, "Am I right?"

"How did you…?"

"Yeah, you are indeed in love. I always feel like that when-"

"Please spare me your mating details."

"Uuuhh…. I… wasn't going to get that far." He stuttered.

"Look how's laughing now, huh?" I snickered as we proceeded to prepare for my date.

* * *

~Frost~

Love comes in many ways, some requires a certain (and rather dramatic) sacrifices before it bloom in a titillating fragrance, while some just come to you eventually.

Tiago's condition reminded me when I was trying to tell Bia that I love her. It was full of surprises and adventure until the time I could relay the love I had reserved just for her; the reciprocation from her love completed me in sheer joy.

Though his condition – not to sound offensive – was far more amusing than what happened with me and Bia. He finally accepted the fact that he wanted to have a romantic relationship, sharing his affections and care towards the bird he loves the most; and this time, love proves to me that it doesn't care about what race or species you are.

Sure though, the concept of a Spix's macaw fell in love with a scarlet macaw was considerable new to accept – if not impossible – but I took it as the form of love, which proved the universality of how it works.

I saw my own reflection when he busied himself to preen as best as he could, asking me the best spot and food to his first date, tips and the proper moment to do any possibilities that I believed didn't actually matter.

"How am I look like?" He asked me countless time, styling his crest feathers again and again.

"Tiago…"

"Should I bring food or let her snatch it for herself?"

"Tiago…"

"Ugh… will it rain tonight?"

"Sweet dear Cristo… you need to calm down!" I assured him, "Relax, what you should worry is not all of that, but just to be yourself."

"Huh? I am myself, how's that helping me?"

"Really? Preening yourself all day? Forecasting the weather? What are you? A weather forecast?" I jiggled my head, "Be yourself, girls like boys who are themselves."

"You always make it so simple." He exhaled sharply, "I simply nervous about this."

"What do you think about my first date with Bia? It was a complete disaster! Carlos showed up and ruined the moment…" I groaned when the memory resurfaced.

"Not helping…"

"I know, but you got a higher chance that… _Caramba!_ " My eyes widened as I realized the sun had passed it highest peak

"Huh? What is it, Frost?"

"Bia's lunch! How can I forget?!"

"Well crap." He echoed my initial reaction, "You probably should go now."

I would probably reply that with sarcasm if I wasn't rushed to find some lunch for my mate. "Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

"Yeah… I think so…" His replied was unconvincing, but I left with no options.

"Just remember, be yourself." I remarked one last time before I projected myself into the sky, heading for the nearest food source available.

The Brazil nut was my only choice. I hastily jerked two nuts from the trees and heading straight towards my hollow, praying to heavens that Bia wasn't going to be upset with my lateness.

My heartbeat began to pace as I approached our hollow – well, also the fact that I was flying as fast as I can – and I feared the worst of it. I donned myself with a smile despite the fact that I was going to fly through a possible storm; to calm myself and explain to my mate that my tardiness wasn't on purpose.

Bia was talking with someone when I prepared myself to land on our hollow. My eyes narrowed into mere slits as I recognized the bird she was talking to.

My claws suddenly itched for a scratch.

* * *

 **A/N: So again, one month since the last update *sigh*. Anyway, I manage to do something about writing this (not to mention some kind of motivation from my friend to continue it faster.)**

 **After the final checkup, I think this is the final version. I've fixed broken sentences, fixing all the incorrect grammar, though it might not be completely devoid, I will make sure it is as best as it will go.**

 **Please leave your review to save a writer.**

 **Thanks!**

 **-Froxy**

 **I**

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	8. Still the Same Spark

**Chapter 8  
Still the Same Spark**

~Beatriz~

Frost hasty disappearance allowed me to let out a leisure sigh. I chuckled internally for the rather hilarious spectacle presented to me this morning like a fresh-baked pie. My wings couldn't stop to rub my belly in sheer happiness, and in some occasion, I could saw how my unborn chicks looked like while they called me 'Mama' or 'Mom'.

Mother… I couldn't believe how far I'd gone since the day I was born. I never thought such experience to become the nurturer of nature – my own progenies – had finally commenced. This new experience brought me a questions, preconditions and self-inflicted doubts that their numbers rivaled the grainy sands in Rio; the stars in the hemispheres.

Mom told me once that my instinct as a mother would be my greatest assets to fend my chicks and showered them with the love like I always wanted. I was baffled when Mom revealed her biggest secret; I never really knew the horror she had to endure when she was faced with being a mother for me and my siblings. Being separated since she was a chick, losing her mom, and lastly, fighting for survival that almost killed her heart were the perfect recipe of madness akin to one brewed in the witch's cauldron. She admitted that she wasn't sure if she would be able to show the love she wanted to give to us, but as the time cascaded, Mom understood that her motherly instinct had proven to be the most effective tools despite her lack of experience.

Instincts didn't please me enough to convince me that I wouldn't put my chicks within jeopardy in my later years as a mother, but Mom assured me that the bonding, the chain that forged when I carried them since they are eggs will be the amplifier, the natural mechanism that allowed me to be sure my actions were right, that I was teaching them in the comforting embers of love.

I agreed with Mom, the feelings just too overwhelming to contain. It felt like my insides were twisting uncontrollably and I just wanted to puke from the joy that conquered my soul, in fact, I did.

I could smell the foul stench of my breakfast as I emptied my stomach in a sudden motion. It felt like a torrent of vertigo just appeared out of thin air and inflicted their damage in an instant instead of the usual progressive pain. My breathings became ragged as I flapped my wings to meet my Mom, still experiencing the after-effect of the last surge of sickness within me before they faded away for good.

 _Calm down, Bia. Calm down._ I told myself, shaking my head to clear up the mental fog that messed with my nerves. _You can't get sick just yet; your chicks need you to stay healthy._

After gaining a proper airlift, I raced myself at the directions of my parent's hollow. My condition, however, did not improved since the last wave of vertigo hit me, my flight was greatly impaired and my vision was hazy. My parent's hollow was nothing but a chocolate blob as I landed on the entrance, gasping for a bountiful breath.

My heartbeat was irregular and breathing was an effortful task to do. Mom was thankfully appeared on the main room when she saw me collapsed half-way towards her, helping me to calm my nerves and alien sensation within my body to subside.

"Heavens, Bia. What happened to you?" Her voice rich with concern, "Are you okay?"

"I'm… fine… Mom… I'm just…" I gasped and raced myself towards the entrance and emptied my stomach for the second time.

"I will call the healer." Mom cringed after she saw my condition, "Rest now, I'll be right back."

"Mom… wait…" My voice was fragile and weak, "I'm fine… I think this is because I'm carrying eggs."

"Nonsense, birds don't puke… wait… did you say you are carrying eggs?"

I nodded twice in affirmation.

"Are you sure?" Mom inquired once more, disbelief painted her expression.

I put my wings and pressed my belly, still feeling the hard object resided within it. "I feel something hard in my stomach this morning, my body just feels…"

"Stuffed? Lightheaded?"

"Yeah… Those are what I felt since this morning."

Mom's beak rapidly arched upwards. She pressed her wings on my belly softly, inspecting my signs of carrying eggs. To my delight when I saw her pupils dilated in shock and joy. Her smile persistent. "You're carrying eggs!" Mom joyously stated, "I can't believe it, my little girl is now carrying eggs."

I couldn't help but to let my eyes stained with tears of happiness as my Mom confirmed my carrying status, "Oh Bia." She nuzzled my head. "Look at you! Yesterday you were an egg and now you carrying your own."

My speech ability was completely muted. I couldn't find a word to describe the utter bliss that dominated my body and soul. I felt weak and helpless all of the sudden as the waves of my previous vertigo resumed their skirmish.

Swayed by the dizziness, I succumbed myself in the next wave of nausea. My stomach was nearly bare when I found myself emptying my stomach again outside my parent's hollow.

Mom's face was full of worry, "Bia, sweetie, are you feeling okay?"

"I don't know Mom… I have this… headache since this morning. I was thinking… that this might because I'm carrying eggs." I gaspingly replied, "I think… it will pass… eventually."

"But carrying eggs is not like having a baby like human." Mom arched his eyebrows, "I don't feel it like that in my experience of carrying."

"You should probably rest, Bia." Mom advised, stroking my forehead. "I will find a healer."

"I don't think that would be necessary, Mom. I'm just… feeling a bit out of the weather." I put my wings on my forehead and wiped the heat away from it, "I got a fever yesterday, but thankfully Frost have given me some kind of medicine from the healer."

"Are you sure? This might affect your eggs." Mom insisted, "I believe that you don't want anything bad happened to them, is it not?"

"Really?" I asked with a sarcastic tone.

Mom seemed to understand my sarcasm, groaned in defeat, "I hate when you use that intelligence to me. That's one of the reason I rarely won an argument with your Father."

I snickered and added, "See? I know you just made that up."

Mom hugged me tightly and said, "I just want the best for you. I know, you are no longer the small chick I used to know… but…"

"I know, Mom. I know." I hugged her back, "I will always be your little girl, no matter what."

Her beak formed a sincere smile as she exhaled in exhilaration. "You also forget to add that I will be a grandma soon!" Mom excitedly remarked, "I can't believe my little girl will soon become a mother."

"Me too, Mom. I'm also nervous to be honest." I gently rubbed my belly.

She issued a ladylike snarl, "I have taught you a lot of things; I'm sure you'll be a good mother, sweetie." She joined in the happiness of the new soon-to-be family member, rubbing my belly, "Oh… did you tell Frost already?"

"Well, no." The imminent regret dominated me, "I was going to… only I just want to be sure yet. You know, false alarm will certainly make the situation awkward."

"Precisely calculated." Mom shook her head in amusement, "I wonder if your chicks will inherit that trait."

"To be honest, I prefer if they look like me… but have Frost's personality."

Of course, as it wasn't so obvious the reason I wished my chicks to acquire Frost's persona. I had seen who he is, enigmatic at the first glance, but when you able to penetrate the cold and dark husk of his outer shell, you'll find a sun with intense radiance. His artistic views on this world inspired a deep awe on me – for a bird who is grounded by facts – and to have the ability to perceive the world as something immensely colorful; a land of rainbow and sunshine was a gift not to miss on.

I do realize this ability he possessed didn't come from his default personality (which you probably know already); the metaphor: _The night has beauty of its own for countless stars and moon shine within the shade of the sun._ Ironic, I must admit, that something incredibly beautiful was hidden under the veil of the golden ray, blinding its citizen to solely praise the solar flare as the symbol of hope. I came to appreciate the night even more ever since I met Frost and become lovers; countless stars, galaxies, awesome supernovas and swirling nebulas hidden in the distant black skies. Humans spent countless resources to unveil the secret of the universe only to later realize it lies in the cosmos; in the night sky when everyone retreated into slumber.

It didn't come to me just eventually when I began to dwell myself inside this new way to perceive the world, but rather after countless time of pondering and adapting to this new views when I began to realize; It is Frost's unique color, his unique kaleidoscope with how the earth rotates in its axis.

Certainly, who doesn't want their chicks to have this unique and wonderful personality.

I chuckled internally when my conversation with Mom had gone too far from our timeline, chatting about my chicks' life when they are adults and have mates on their own. They hadn't yet born but we already talked like ten years had passed in an instant.

Frost's lovely personality, however, was the thing I wished will be inherited towards my offsprings in later years. With the personality of his sincerity (albeit sometimes clumsy and sarcastic), I will be happy to know that my chicks will shower their progenies and so on; my family will thrive under the comfort of love for eternity.

It's silly, I know. But considering the _Arrow of time_ theory is correct, I could not live in the past and present forever, but to be prepared for the endless tunnel of future awaits me and my later family.

Perhaps, after I reviewed this point of view I possessed, I came to a conclusion that like it or not, Frost's influence had started to alter me; in a good or bad way, I'll leave that alone to other's judgement.

My chat session with Mom was interrupted when the morning nausea returned back to me. The lack of interval of queasiness during our chats made her forgot his initial intention to bring me to the healer. I waved my wings and told her that this one wasn't as strong as in the morning, assuring her that I would be okay.

She didn't seem to believe my words (and I can perfectly understand why) and asked me if I was feeling one-hundred percent okay. Obviously… if you are hit by a nausea the whole day… There's no such things as one-hundred percent.

"Maybe I should just rest, Mom." I stated as I tried to calm my rebelling belly. "Frost's going home for lunch too so I think I have someone to take care of me."

"Alright, but are you sure you can fly to your hollow on your own?" Mom's face donned a worried expression, "You know what, I'll go with you."

I groaned, "Mom. I'm not a chick anymore… heck, I'm carrying eggs! I'll be fine."

She finally sighed in defeat, "Ugh… fine. You know you can be so stubborn sometimes." Mom lifted her talon to scratch her itchy legs, "I can tell that this is a trait that will be passed all generation."

"It's from you, isn't it?"

Mom rolled her eyes, "Who else? Your father?"

"What about me?" A familiar male voice startled Mom, " _Meu Deus!_ Blu! Don't appear like that out of nowhere!"

Dad's beak was beaming widely; his elderly figure had seen better day due to the stress since he was chosen to lead the tribe by Pop-pop. Lía was perching on Dad's back like she always did with both of my parents – I assumed – while smiling cheekily as she noticed me, " _Irmã!_ "

"So what's that with me earlier?" Dad retraced his previous unanswered query.

"Oh." Mom replied abruptly, smiling towards me before she continued, "We just had some chats between girls, and Blu…"

Mom's eyes twitched, a signal for me to break the good news. "Uh… well alright then."

Dad's face was filled with curiosity, "What is it now? You two knows I hate surprises."

I had to be honest; breaking the news about my carrying status wasn't as easy as breaking a news that Tiago already had a girlfriend. My heartbeat pounded vigorously as it was going to burst anytime soon like a ticking time bomb. My respiration become uneven and my body soon felt incredibly tired. It was an utter weird experience, my brain was super excited, yet my body demanded me to cease all my activities.

Nonetheless, I somehow managed to find all the strength and nerve to tell Dad and my little sister about my status.

I could see Dad's eyes widened in an instant when I'd finished saying 'eggs', his jaw dropped – literally – with my sister confused about my news.

"You… carryin… that…" Dad's clauses were incompressible for the next one before he finally calmed, "Wow… I'm very surprised…"

"Come on now _Pop-pop_ ; you should have been happy for this." Mom said, eliciting an enjoyable laugh.

"I am happy!" Dad exclaimed jovially, "This is a very good news! Have you told Frost yet?"

"Well…"

"What is _carrying eggs_?" Lía suddenly joined the conversation.

Mom and Dad exchanged looks; that looks that couldn't be mistaken for this kind of subject. Mom sighed in defeat after their staring contest ended; a silent conversation that managed to rival telepathy. "That means, Lía, your _irmã_ is going to have chicks."

"How can _irmã_ have chicks?" She asked adorably, eyes sparkling in curiosity, oblivious that both of her parents would be struggling to answer the seemingly simple question. "Uh… well, you see…" Mom stuttered, her eyes gazing hopefully towards Dad. She tapped her talon on the floor twice, one of the sign I had come to understand the meaning of it.

Dad was no better, he averted his gaze while his talon scratched his nape; the gesture that implies his nervousness and also reserved as a diversion when Mom caught him spoiled me and my siblings when we were younger.

I couldn't help but to beam at my parents' tied tongue. They obviously have to come up with something that allowed my little sister's curiosity to be sated. I still remember their answer when I asked the same question when I was a chick – out of curiosity, mind you – which they always said, "We'll tell you when you are older."

Of course, as a crusader of knowledge, such answer did not give me the beneficial satisfaction. Mom and Dad did notice my unconvincing state finally gave up and gave me a reply, which until today, is still utterly humorous, "You come from eggs, Bia. And eggs come from… you know… when your Dad give me enough food, I will then have eggs."

And for the cherry on top, I bought that for four years before Mom and Dad finally taught me about mates and family stuff.

I began to wonder what kind of reaction I should gave to my chicks when this question one day presented to me; either I should explain it in some way, or getting into lies like my parents had done to me.

My rumbling belly eased the thought; my morning meal hadn't yet got a chance to be processed (thanks to the nausea) caused my energy reserve to be incredibly low. Mom and Dad were still figuring something to satiate my little sister's curiosity when I bid the farewell.

"Oh… are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?" Mom asked, remembering my morning sickness.

"I'll be fine, Mom. In fact, I'm starving now."

"What happened?" Dad asked, Mom's concern infected him.

"Not a big deal, Dad. I just got some… vomiting this morning." I said, "But don't worry. I'm fine now."

"Well, alright then. I suppose you can join us for lunch?" Dad replied, removing Lía from his back.

My conscience soon detected the meaning behind this conversation; the diversion from Lía's question. This revelation brought me a grin, "Frost promised me to bring me lunch; maybe next time Dad."

Mom and Dad soon noticed my big grin couldn't help but to ask in unison, "What?"

My grin finally evolved into a chuckle, " _Nada_." **[Nothing]**

Dad only cocked his head while Mom was more perceptive to decipher my chuckle, grinning widely before adding, "Hush."

That was more than enough to trigger a hearty, glorious laughter from me.

* * *

The world seemed much brighter all of the sudden; the winds, the atmosphere and the ambience just blissful and much detailed than usual. My highlighted perception was the result of my happiness, the sunbeam felt so much warmer and calmer than many other days in my life.

My mind glued to a single thing: my eggs. I still trapped between the limbo of shock and acceptance (not that I had a single hatred for these eggs) but the shockwave from my sheer joy pushed me closer to the edge of acceptance; a title I that will soon bestowed to me: a mother.

My body, however, couldn't cooperate with the immense happiness that possessed my body. My flight was greatly impaired despite the airflow was perfect for flying, and somehow, I could detect a miniscule sign of my nausea returned back.

Perhaps, it's because the euphoria that I couldn't contain in my body just demanded to burst, but due to the limitation, it sought other ways to liberate itself from my body.

The flight immediately got me weary. I lost focus on my surrounding, merely flapping my wings to stay afloat with no clear clues if I had reached my destination or not.

My endurance was tested as I continuously beating my wings, hoping my hollow will soon materialize in my hazy vision. Exhaustion, unfortunately, began to creep over my consciousness, disorienting my wits to acquire the proper signs of my abode.

Unwanted to strain myself, I landed on a nearby branch, panting heavily. _What is wrong with me? Is it because I'm carrying eggs?_ I asked myself internally in my endeavor to steady myself. I shook my head to clear the mental clouds that dampened my recently highlighted perception; it felt like the crashing effects of withdrawal from some certain drugs.

My condition was utterly pathetic. The greenery around me was alien combined with my disabled pattern recognition, I simply lost in this vast foliage.

My rumbling belly once more reminded me one of the reasons I trapped under this very circumstances. I regretted myself not to accept my parents' offer to take me home, unbeknownst that my morning sickness would lead into a series of chain reactions with me ending up stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Well, not really in the middle of nowhere, but since my senses are non-functional at that time, that leads me to an assumption that I was lost. Perhaps no, what I needed is a time to clear my clouded perception before I could continue my flight, a brief rest sure would restore some of the energy I required to continue my journey.

My eyelids started to droop thanks to the pleasant sunbeam and perfect air; their soft touch singing a lullaby that drifted me slowly into slumbers, though my eyes quickly sprang wide when I heard someone else landed next to me, "Hey."

This voice belonged to a familiar male Spix's macaw, one that I knew Frost wouldn't be so happy to meet. I rotated my head and saw his face smiling warmly. "Oh hey there, Carlos. It's been awhile."

"Indeed it is." He replied, "So… how's everything going?"

His eyes scanned me from top to talon, soon I realized that I was a bit exposed in some certain part due to my rest position. I hastily got back on my talon and replied, "I'm fine, thanks."

"You sure? I mean it's not that I'm judging, but pretty sure it would be better to sleep in your hollow."

"I'm just taking a quick stop; I got exhausted for a little bit." I said, dusting splinters and dirt from my breast.

His beak formed a smug grin, "Are you sure? Because I saw you fly like a crippled bird just now."

"Well… actually… I am not exactly healthy." I admitted, "Not to mention I literally have nothing left in my stomach."

"You're sick?"

"I don't know. I just got these symptoms this morning… either I am indeed sick or it's because my eggs, I am not sure." I brushed my face, wiping away the looks of exhaustion from my face.

Carlos' reaction imitated my Dad, only I saw something else; something that made me uneasy with his presence. "You… are carrying eggs?"

"Yeah." I replied briefly.

His stare… somehow his stare pierced deep into my soul. "And your mate is…"

"Frost. Who else?" Another brief response I gave him with a slightly higher intonation, "I need to get going, Carlos. It's nice to talk with you again." I tried my best to sound friendly, knowing too well the outcome if Frost saw me with him.

"Why the rush?" He asked me with a monotonous tone, "I just want to congratulate you for this very event." His voice then reverted warmer and friendlier than before. "Now, let me help you."

"Help me what?"

"To your hollow of course. Didn't you see how much effort for you to fly earlier? Not to mention you have eggs to be taken care of."

"That doesn't make me weak, you know." My mood swings were completely uncontrollable, and Carlos was the first poor victim of it. "I can take care of myself thank you."

I already expected him to reply my hostility, but he remained calm and just stood there in silence. I wasted no more time and soared into the sky, only to be greeted with the uneven flight pattern that caused me to crash on the nearby branch… or at least, that was I expected to happen when I realized my freefall. Carlos apparently already predicted the outcome of my effort fighting my fatigue, as he reacted fast enough to sandwich me between his talon before I could reach the branch with a cranium-breaking result. My heart beat like a march of soldiers, conjuring a deep shock within me.

He placed me on the branch softly before stated, "See, I know you are in no condition to fly; let me help you."

"Why are you doing this? I'm not exactly friendly earlier." I confessed shamefully, "I just feel so weird today."

He let out an enjoyable laughter, "I think I can understand very well why you are acting like this. Now come on, you better get to your hollow soon. I bet your… _mate_ is worried about you." His beak gritted a bit in the word 'mate'.

I noticed that, after all this time, he still had some feelings for me. After all, he was the first bird that ever asked me out for a date, though our relationship never got out from the 'friend' zone. I feel sorry for him, to be honest, for pursuing the bird he can never have for himself – to find love like I do.

I only nodded twice, silently praying Frost hadn't yet home or Tiago manage to make him forget the lunch time; heavens know what will happen when both of them meet each other.

Carlos, however, seemed so enthusiastic to help me even after knowing that I belonged to someone else. Perhaps deep within, he still hoped there's a chance, even tiny, that I will turn my tail from Frost and fall to his wings. But I know I don't love him as much as I love Frost.

It just felt different when I look Frost and Carlos, aside from their almost opposing personalities, something just drew me closer to Frost than Carlos since the first time they formed their rivalry ten years ago: the sincerity from Frost.

Carlos had always been an uncle Roberto type of bird. He was a sweet, suave talker that managed to flatter every female in the tribe. I admit, he was also quite handsome and muscular; the image of physical perfection scribbled on his DNA.

Frost on the other hand, was a shy as hell type of bird that just talking with him need an extreme nerve of steel to deflect the awkwardness that happened every so often. He was an enigma outside, but after I knew him within, I knew that he was a born artist; the trait that I fell in love with.

Honestly, I possessed some attraction with him when we first met. His smile and prowess impressed me greatly, his ability to help me from bullies, but not so much after he tried to push our relationship too fast.

He claimed to the whole tribe that I was his girlfriend. I had never accepted him to be my love interest, more less he ever asked me to be his girlfriend either. At first, I found it cute… but the more I spent more time with him, the less I felt for him.

And then come this bird that now is my mate, the one that taught me how love should have been: platonic and romantic at the same time.

I had never been so happy with my choice.

* * *

My hollow finally materialized after a couple of minute flight. Frost thankfully hadn't yet home or I would be dealing with his overprotectiveness, not to mention this was Carlos; his lifetime rival.

"Thanks for the help, Carlos." I smiled in gratitude.

"For a beautiful bird like you, it was nothing, Bia." He flattered, causing me to blush a bit. "Now where is this mate of yours? He should have been in he-"

"I'm here, thank you very much." A loud remark resonated to my eardrum, the owner of the said voice sent down a chill to my spine.

Frost landed next to me with his left wings cradled me closer to him, "What is your business here, may I ask?"

Carlos' eyes sparked in flames, his patience waning in an instant, "Helping your mate; I found her exhausted on a branch, so I decided to become a good neighbor and helped her. It seemed that my help is not appreciated."

"Thank you, but I believe she could handle her own." Frost's embrace radiated no warmth, but intense possessiveness.

I could feel the heat radiating from the two males, the same spark rekindled once more. "Just ask her then." Carlos smugly replied, "I believe your _mate_ here-"

I wouldn't blame neither Frost or Carlos for this very arguments to be initiated. Frost's overprotective personality combined with Carlos' _alpha_ personality was the perfect combination to create an everlasting storm.

And the worst of all, I was trapped within it.

* * *

 **A/N: Much sooner than before, and I hope this chapter is not too paced like the previous one either. Sorry for the rather slow update date, life has taken my time very much.**

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	9. (Another) Author's Note

I know it's not permitted to actually post something like this, but please listen to this one for a few minutes.

As you can see, my story hasn't been updated in a while (if you read that is) because the severe depression I've been enduring for the last couple of months. It greatly cripples my ability to think, much more writing a story. Here I want to tell you about the future of my writing, and also the fact how my condition will become.

First, I'm afraid to tell you all that I probably unable to continue ANY of my story anymore. So instead leaving it in the dark, I want to tell you to stop hoping there will be another chapter for this story (or any of my story for that matter). Truth is, I really want to continue it, but my depression really put me in the dark this time. I am, however, grateful for all the support and view you guys had given me throughout my time in here, and I wish you continue on with yours. That being said, I am also sorry for the rather abrupt disappearance from this site. I hope you can understand this.

Secondly, that being said, I will semi-permanently leave this site for good. My stories are free to adopt (but anyway, someone already rip my story off so it won't be that much matter anyway), so if you guys want to continue it, or have some idea on how to make it better. Prithee, make thy dream a reality.

If you want to contact me, or simply want to have some conversation about stuff (mostly probably about games or science or even MLP if you are a brony), you can contact me from my email (LunarFroxy gmail com) or via any account I provided you in my profile page.

And that wraps it up, blessings of the moon upon thy journey.

Goodnight, everyone.


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